Everything is smarter in Texas

I am on my way down to Fort Worth, for the CrossFit Science of Exercise certification. I've got all my study materials printed, organized, color-coded and bound, because I am, at heart, a giant nerd. I am also not checking a bag. Really. Carry on only. I've got three pairs of jeans, one pair of Lulus (reversible, bitches), my Pumas, a bunch of tops/tanks/shirts and... my jump rope. I don't go anywhere without my jump rope.

Tucker is my chauffeur for the weekend, which should be fun because (a) I haven't seen him in a while and I've been missing the special Tucker way he makes fun of me, (b) he's got a bad-ass Jeep Wrangler that I will most likely hijack, and (c) I like giving him a hard time, and that is much more fun to do in person. I'm excited to meet some new people this weekend - Adam Drake, Gita (from CF East Bay), 'Spider Chick', and, of course, Rip. I really wanted to wear my "jugs" t-shirt (it's got the silhouette of two milk jugs on the, um, front), but that's not exactly the first impression I want to make on these people.

I just found out Wittenstein is also going to the cert. I think this time, I am stalking him. I'll take good notes and lots of pictures and hopefully I'll come back to NH with some serious Science to show off.

Return of the Real Met-Con

Yesterday's workout turned into Virtual Shoveling, sans "virtual", for Maximum Aggravation and Snow Down My Pants. Obviously, PR.

Last night, I decided I could put off the inevitable no longer. It was time to do a Real Met-Con. Not a "hybrid" five minute met-con, not a "practice" met-con like last week's Fran... I did a straight-up, honest-to-Eva, Real CrossFit Met-Con. And I got my ass KICKED.

Today's Fight Gone Bad was the first RMC I've done since the first week of December, when I did an Rx'd Christine. Although that technically doesn't count, since it's pretty short, and includes three non-Goat movements. The Byers' definition of a "Real Met-Con" is something that (a) takes at least 15 minutes, (b) includes at least three rounds and at least three moves, (c) includes at least one weighted move, and (d) includes at least one of my Goats. So something like Michael doesn't count, since it's totally unweighted. And something like Unworthy doesn't count, because while it's serious business, it's too short. A few examples of Real Met-Cons include Kelly (five rounds of hell), Filthy Fifty (herds of Goats), and Fight Gone Bad.

Given how long it's been since I've tested myself metabolically, I figured I might as well get the cardiovascular slaughter over with. Choosing FGB was a no-brainer, considering this is one of my worst workouts - lots of weighted stuff, with two serious Goats. To set this up, I did FGB in September '08, with a score of 202... but with so many subs that it's not even worth comparing. More meaningful is the FGB done using the same exercises (but lighter weights) in April '08, with a score of 228.

No buy-in (except for a normal warm-up) or cash out today.

Workout - Fight Gone Bad (almost Rx'd... 12# wall ball was the only scale)

• Wall-ball @ 12# med ball
• SDHP @ 55#
• Box jumps @ 20"
• PP @ 55#
• C2 Row

Wall-ball: 19 - 18 - 20 = 57
SDHP 55: 15 - 14 - 14 = 43
Box Jump: 18 - 16 - 16 = 50
PushP 55: 10 - 10 - 10 = 30
C2 Row: 13 - 13 - 12 = 38

Total Score: 218

So ten less points, but more weight. I'll take it, considering by the middle of the FIRST round I had already swore, stripped and fell off my box. (That usually doesn't happen until round three). Interestingly, today my LUNGS were the limiting factor, not STRENGTH. Having those push-presses fourth in the series did me no favors, but all my mini-breaks were to catch my breath, not regroup my muscles. Given the lack of Real Met-Cons in my recent programming, and all the mono-related time off, this was to be expected.

If Max Lewin's theory of persistence is right, however, then this is FANTASTIC news. All I have to do now is trash my strength program and go back to met-conning until my lungs come back!

Psych. Duh.

My plan of attack stays EXACTLY THE SAME. My strength-focused 3x5 program stays EXACTLY the same, and my shorter, heavier met-cons stay EXACTLY the same. The metabolic conditioning will come back. In fact, according to Max, Struck and the other coaches who weighed in, cardiovascular capacity is the easiest to get back. So I am not going to worry about it. At all. Not even for a second. In fact, I think the next time I do FGB, I'm going to hit it backwards... how fast can I hit my goal score of 300? Maybe it takes me 20 minutes, maybe 22 or 23... but that seems to be a good fit in my plan to Get Diesel (and achieve Total World Domination).

SPECIAL BONUS DOWNLOAD: Fight Gone Bad - NH Style MP3. It's a mix of Chemical Brothers, Linkin Park, Juelz Sanchez, Crystal Method and Roni Size, and it's got a loud siren at all the minute marks. Plus it's totally work/family safe - no curse words at all. (You hear that, Mom?) Plus it's got an extra minute or two of music after the last siren, so you have something to listen to when you're flat on your back. Enjoy!

In defense of Lulus

**Note: I don't often write something JUST for one sex or the other... my posts tend to be pretty gender-neutral. You may think today's write-up is directed at my female audience, but that is not true. It is directed to the females wearing the pants, AND the husbands and boyfriends who think you are bananas for shelling out that much money for a pair of "sweats".**

There’s been a lot of buzz about the clothing company Lululemon - on the CrossFit Boards, on the Virtuosity blog, even on YouTube. Lulus and CrossFit have been partnered up as long as I’ve been on the scene – girls in Main Page videos all seem to sport the trademark colored waistbands of Lulu’s “Groove” style pants. So what’s the deal with Lululemon? Are they just a status symbol, a cultish CrossFit trend, or is there something of substance in those pants? As my Lulu collection is worth more than my car, I will share my expert analysis with you here.

Let’s cut right to the money shot, because I’m an instant gratification kind of girl, and this is really what you’re all waiting to hear. Ladies, a pair of Lulus will make your ass look fantastic six ways to Sunday. Which is more than enough reason all by itself to run – not walk – to your nearest Lulu retailer, grab a pair of Grooves and shove a Benjamin down the jog bra of the first sales girl you see. Case closed, and enjoy the rest of your Wednesday morning.

Still here? I suppose some people need more than just a nice looking ass to justify the expense. In which case, here you go.

Lululemon clothing is extremely well made. For one, the material retains its shape and style, even through weekly washings in warm water and drying on high. The pants don’t stretch out, shrink or lose their shape and the colors don't run or fade. And even after rolling around on the floor with TGUs, scraping a bar up the front of my shins while deadlifting and banging my knees against the ground with walking lunges on an asphalt track, the material holds up - no holes, scuffs or pilling. Plus they absorb sweat like crazy (again, while holding their shape), and dry evenly and quickly, so you never feel sticky.

On top of their excellent construction, Lulu pants are extremely flattering on every single person I've ever seen trot out of their dressing room.There are so many different styles that they more than accommodate every size, shape and body type. They've paid attention to the details, too, so there are no irritating seams, or places where the fabric or waistband bunches, gathers or sticks out. And they come in three lengths, including tall for us 5’ 10” and up girls (with a 35” inseam). A little too long? The store will also hem your pants for free.

And if you’re looking for additional justification on the hefty price tag, some styles (like the Groove Sneaker) are completely reversible – a colored or patterned waistband on one side, and flat black on the other. Which, I have repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) argued in the Byers Court of High Finance, brings the actual price down to $50 a pair.

Finally, if you’re like me, you LIVE in your gym clothes. Five days a week, I wear Lulus to the gym. Plus they make up the bottom half of my Sunday morning breakfast/shopping/movie-going attire. Yes, these pants are so nice that they work equally well out of the gym. So I wear Lulus, on average, six days a week, almost every week of my life. Plus I wear them to certifications, and all my kettlebell coaching session, so in those instances, they are my work uniform. And all of a sudden, spending $100 on an article of clothing that will hold up for at least a year or two AND that I am guaranteed to wear every single week of my life sounds pretty sensible to me.

I can’t really speak to the workout tops, because I only own a few and I don’t wear them as frequently as the pants. However, I have several well endowed girlfriends who swear that Lulu jog bras are the ONLY thing they can comfortably run in. I’ll have to take their word for it, because I don’t have that issue. At all.

So there you have it. Will a pair of Lululemon pants put 10# on your squat or shave a minute off your Filthy Fifty? Probably not. But you might as well look good trying.

The defense rests



(Training session this afternoon at LRF... will update with workout later.)

Let's talk about high bar...

Late December, I switched to the high bar back squat, after spending six months trying and never quite "getting" the low bar position. (Remember the back squat portion of my CFT, during which Struck said I was in serious danger of getting taco-ed?) So I started playing around with the high bar position, and immediately fell in love. My form immediately got better, and I'm increasing weight with decent mechanics pretty quickly. Trouble is, my form is still pretty inconsistent from one rep to the next.

I haven't been able to meet with my Trainer in the past month, so he hasn't been able to actually coach this new high bar position. And most of the tutorial-style material I found on CrossFit and You Tube relate to the low bar position. So I've been relying on my Trainer's video coaching and our telephone talks about how the high bar position is different. It's tough, however, because I have six months of low bar burned into my muscle memory... and low bar CUES burnt into my brain.

That was why I was SO excited to find this Squat Rx #21 video clip. For those of you who don't know, Squat Rx is an amazing series of You Tube videos, designed to address every aspect of the squat (and related exercises). The videos demonstrate proper form, common form issues, corrections and assistance drills. They are genius, and I've watched many of them several times.

Trouble is, there are a TON of these tutorials - 26, to be exact. So I hadn't worked my way up to video #21 until yesterday. After watching it, I cursed myself for not having sought it out sooner. In this short clip, Boris talks about how the "sit back" squat cue works very well for a low bar position... but not so hot for a high bar. And damn if I haven't been trying to FORCE that cue to make sense with my last two squat sessions.

My Trainer has been trying to talk to me about proper high bar form, but I am very much a hands-on learner. If you physically put me in the correct position, I can then duplicate that form consistently. Barring that, if you can show me a "this is good" versus "this is not good" demonstration, I'll have a decent shot at picking it up. So while he's been trying to get me to "see" what I need to do during our phone conversations (essentially telling me exactly what this video demonstrates), once I SAW it, I feel like it totally clicked.

Check out yesterday's squat session below. My form is still inconsistent - one rep is good, the next, not so good - but I can SEE myself trying hard to "sit back" and not being able to make it work. And when I forget about that cue and just focus on maintaining tension and getting my ass down (like the first rep of the second set)... I think it looks MUCH better.

Take some time to review Boris' squat series - starting from the beginning. Because I'm pretty sure no matter how good you are, everyone could use a little Squat Rx from time to time.



P.S. I have received some complaints that black pants make it difficult to check out my "form" in these videos. I am going to generously assume that these are legitimate concerns by those attempting to assess my lumbar curve, hamstring tension and squat depth, and will address this issue in future videos.

What's under YOUR t-shirt?

I changed my profile picture today, for three reasons. One, Skibicki said I was getting way too much mileage out of that shot. Two, it was about six months old and needed updating anyway. Three, my stomach no longer looks like that, and in the interest of full disclosure, it is time to put the six pack to bed.

Since September, I’ve been on a mission to gain ten pounds. As you can see from the picture progressions, I started out with CrossFit pretty underweight – and with some seriously sissy squat, press and DL numbers. I had a rockin’ six pack, but that was mostly because I was 5’ 10” and 123# - not because my core was truly strong. You can go ahead and say it – in that ring picture (from May 2008), I was SKINNY.

Not to mention, my DL was stuck at 165#, and my squat was non-existent, and I could do one pull-up, maybe two. So I started eating more, but not enough more, because in my old profile pic (taken in August) I was still hovering around 125#. I might have appeared more muscular, but my strength hadn’t increased much… and what good is that?

The next pic was taken just a month later (during our Fight Gone Bad park workout). Still sporting the six pack, but I was sucking wind on the thrusters, and couldn’t push-press the 55# bar more than five times in a row. I barely broke 200 on that workout, which I decided then and there was completely Not Cool.

So I started eating. More. Lots more. More protein, but mostly more fat, because that had the most caloric bang for the buck. My Trainer told me to just keep eating until I started getting soft. So I covered my Lara bars in coconut oil, started cooking in butter AND olive oil and stopped weighing, measuring or counting. I just ATE. At the same time, I cut back on the chippers and long met-cons, and focused more on lifting heavy. Slowly, I started putting on weight. And despite my more than occasional deviation from a strength-focused program, damn if my numbers didn’t start climbing too.

In late October, I pulled a 205# DL. In November, I back squatted my body weight for the first time. In December, I hit 13 consecutive pull-ups. By New Year's, I had put 10# on my shoulder press. Of course, I had a few months of sub-par workouts due to the mono, but I can’t even imagine how my former scrawny self would have handled that episode. Thank god I had some extra weight on me, and had some significant strength gains already under my belt. Those extra pounds (on me AND the bar) have made my return to the gym so much easier.

But my abs are gone. Not GONE gone, because my core is stronger than it’s ever been, but I’m definitely nowhere near as six-packy. I’ve put on those 10# (I’m up to 134#), and it shows. My pull-ups ALL feel “weighted” now, some of my suit jackets are in danger of being Incredible Hulked and my six pack is down to maybe a two pack, in the right light on a good day . And that is more than okay with me. Sure, sometimes I miss them – it’s nice to be able to whip off your shirt and flaunt a washboard. But I don’t miss them anywhere near enough to trade all the strength gains I’ve made - or how fantastic I feel in the gym these days. Because while the abs are pretty, I’d much rather have a set of gorgeous 3x5 deadlifts at my previous 1RM under this CrossFit t-shirt.

Buy-in

• 3 x 12 KB swings, 20K
• Squat warm-up with 45#, 75#, 95#

Workout

• 3x5 HBBS @ 115#
• +/- 0# from last week

Last week's squats at 115# earned a B for form - not enough to move up. Today's felt (and looked) better. Video review will make the call, but I'm betting my Trainer says I'm good for 120# next week.

On another note, today was Day Four "on" - yesterday I missed my rest day to do two hours of KB demonstration at the Lakes Region Fitness open house. Showing off (one leg RRs, double KB windmills, heavy TGUs) for two hours straight apparently DOES count as a workout, because today I was feeling it. Tomorrow I rest.

Cash out:

• 3x12 KB swings, 20K (video'd to help out a long-distance trainee who asked for a critique on his KB swing form)

Music (back squats = hip hop)

• Can I Kick It?, Tribe Called Quest
• Big Pimpin/Papercut, Jay-Z and Linkin Park
• La Di Da Di, Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh

I can stop holding my breath now, Brandon

So I'm probably going to stop running serious weekend blog posts. For one, I'm busy on the weekends, and so are you, because reader-ship drops way down on Saturday and Sunday. Two, it is not easy to come up with clever topics on a Sunday morning, because the only thing on my mind when I wake up is my weekly girly breakfast with Jenn. Maybe that's what I'll start posting on Sundays... Things I Covered in Syrup Today. Problem solved. No matter what, though, I'll keep posting gym sessions, because this place is first and foremost my workout log.

Hit Gold's early AM for some Olympic lifting, sponsored by David Blaine*. (*Every time I work on cleans, all my squat cleans magically turn into power cleans.) I was in serious danger of forgetting how to squat clean entirely, so I was determined to break the cycle today. I decided to work with lighter weight and hammer on form until my body started dropping under the bar.

Buy-in

• Jump rope 6:00
  
• Front squats @ 45#
• Tall cleans @ 45# (lots)
  

Squat cleans

• 5@65# (a few power cleans thrown in)
• 5@65# (still a few power cleans - dammit)
• 5@75# (one power clean)
• 5@75#
• 5@85# (one power clean)
  
• 5@85#
• 5@85#
• 5@85#

Now I realize that is a metric fuck-ton of cleans... but 85# is not very heavy for me, and that is how long it took for me to get comfortable dropping under the bar. Gold's was too busy to take video today, but I suspect my form was in the C range. I have a hard time maintaining scapular retraction with cleans... much like my deadlifts, but worse because of the explosive nature of the second pull. I haven't worked on these with my Trainer in almost a year, so they are definitely on deck.

Then Brandon showed up so I could fix his deadlift. His appearance was newsworthy... he's been threatening to meet me at Gold's for months now, but never, ever, ever manages to get his butt out of bed on time. Today he actually made it. He always comes away from his deadlift sessions with back pain, so I started him with a really light bar (115#) and worked on getting his set-up straight. We worked sets of 3-5 up to 185# - his form was looking good by the end of the session.

I'm not a trainer and not an expert on the big lifts, but at this point I think I can armchair coach the deadlift pretty effectively. I can't take an A- deadlift and turn it into an A... my eye isn't quite that good. But I got Brandon to the point where his form looked better than anyone I've seen deadlifting at Gold's. Except me, of course. And my Gym Boyfriend.

No cash-out today, unless you want to count B's coaching session. Works for me.

Music (this is what Oly Day looks like)

• The Kids Aren't Alright, Offspring (hands-down, my favorite gym band ever)
• Real Solution #9, White Zombie (off Astro-Creep... their best, in my opinion)
• No You Don't, Nine Inch Nails (it's just so ANGRY)

Best of Byers - Keyword Edition

I have this neat program that tracks my blog stats – including how my visitors “found” me. Some arrive from a link on another web site – CrossFit NYC, Go Healthy Go Fit or my signature on the CF Message Boards. But lots of people stumble my way through a search engine like Google or Yahoo. I’ve been keeping track of the “keywords” they've been querying... because some of the ways you people get from there to here are truly bananas. I give you the Best of Byers – Keyword Edition.

____

First, and most commonly, we’ve got people actually searching for me, specifically. These key words include:

• Every possible variation of “Byers Gets Diesel” (including my favorite, Byers Does Diesel)
  

• Every spelling variation of “Byers”, “Melissa”, “Diesel” and “CrossFit”. And I do mean every. Spelling. Variation. My favorite - Breyers Goes Dieisiel. True story.
  

• A million “kettlebell” related phrases
  

• Every possible combination of “squats”, “milk” and “bitches” (including, Do squats and milk get you bitches?)

_____

Readers also come my way searching for other fitness-y people that I've mentioned here.

• Maureen Martone kettlebell

• Danny Vee CrossFit

• Gant Grimes hybrid
  

• Fawn Friday
  

• Sexy Jeff Yan (I am pretty sure he’s Googling himself)

_____

Since I post all my workouts, I also get traffic from people looking for specific exercises.

• CrossFit Unworthy
  

• Swings and burpees
  

• Bear Complex AMRAP
  

• Sots pistol
  

• Kettlebell windmills

_____

Now we get to the fun part - random phrases that can be directly tracked back to something I’ve written… whether the person wanted to end up here or not.

• UFC homeless (Led to UFC 91, Commentary by the Homeless)
  

• Hustler Melissa gymnast (So many posts where I reference gymnastics and/or me being a hustler/ pimp/ tramp/ hussy)
  

• Melissa NYC (Ummm… I believe that nickname has already been taken)
  

• Ghetto Gym (Lakes Region Fitness - and I mean that as the highest of compliments)
  

• Kettlebell pants (Led to Yes, I Will Coach Your Pants)

_____

And finally, my personal favorites, in a category I like to call, “WTF?” (Yes, these phrases all in some round-about manner match up to something I've written.)

• NYC diesel trainwreck
  

• Are there CrossFit strippers
  

• 25 year old diesel man spanked

• Apologize for f***ing your friend’s mom

LOVELY. I suppose you could call some of my workouts a train wreck, and I'm sure there ARE CrossFit strippers out there somewhere, doing human flags on the poles and pull-ups off the nudie bar rafters... but I really cannot help with the other topics, as I'm pretty sure you two were looking for something else entirely.

Buy-in

• 6:00 of DUs (Max consecutive, 20. Min, 6. Most were 10-12. This is a slippery skill - if I don't practice it constantly, it goes away fast.)
• Handstand holds and straddle handstand holds (prep for one-hand Tucker-style)
  

Met-con, w/ 20K

• 1 KB swing + 10 burpees
• 2 KB swings + 9 burpees
• ...
• 9 KB swings + 2 burpees
• 10 KB swings + 1 burpee

9:55

Damn, this felt good. Today was my official Surround Sound test. This met-con includes one thing I am good at (swings) and one Goat (burpees), and since I've done this before, I figured it would be a good estimate of where I am in my post-mono recovery. I did this exact workout in August in 9:48. Today, just a few seconds slower. So I'll take it.

Cash out

• 3x10 (5L/5R) one-leg RRs, 16K

Music

• Hit the Floor, Pitbull and Twista (perfect for burpees, for obvious reasons)
• Battleflag, Lo Fidelity All Stars (circa 1997... still so, so good)
• This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race, Fall Out Boy

Today's music

I just realized I forgot to post today's music.

• Simple Man/The Way I Are mash-up, Lynryd Skynyrd/Timbaland (Made famous during OPT's sub-7:00 "Helen". A fantastic and inspiring warm-up track.)
  

• X-Ecutioner Style, Linkin Park (I mean, it's deadlift day. No further explanation necessary.)

• Six Days Remix, DJ Shadow/Mos Def (Might seem slow at first, but it's pretty bad-ass)
  

• Green Light, John Legend and Andre 3000 (These two together are The Collective Man.)

I've zipped the Simple Man mash-up for your download pleasure here. Now go do something kick-ass to it.

Byers Gets Science-y

This morning, my Gym Boyfriend was doing dumbbell squat cleans. ( I think this relationship has serious potential, because he was using 50# DBs.) His clean form was good - he was actually shrugging, not reverse curling - but his head position was all wrong. His neck was totally cranked, and he was looking straight up towards the ceiling.

I have never once given unsolicited form advice to anyone at Gold's, despite the fact that I could add 20# to everyone's squat and DL with just a few quick corrections. But my G.B. is different - he's critiqued my heavy DLs, spotted my bench and we've talked form and function many times. So I broke my own rules and hit him up between sets. "Have I mentioned you look hot in that weight vest? I have? Well you do. Hey, so on your next set of cleans - don't crank your neck like that. Instead, look straight out at that dumbbell on the floor down there, and focus on keeping your back and shoulders locked in through the whole movement." He did his next set with a neutral neck, and then stopped me. "Thanks," he said. "That feels a lot easier - plus my balance is a lot better. What's that about?" I tell him that looking up like that kills hip drive, plus it's just not a very safe position for the neck when bearing weight. He thinks about it, nods, and then proceeded to do 20 more minutes of hang cleans with a perfect, neutral head position. And this is why he's my Gym Boyfriend.

Now, he didn't press me for the background or science behind my recommendation. Which is a damn good thing, because all I would be able to come up with is, "That's what Coach Rip says". I've read it, I remembered it, but I'm not sure WHY looking up kills hip drive. And that's because I haven't been very good about committing to my Byers Gets Science-y initiative. So it is a very good thing that I am going to the first ever CrossFit Science of Exercise Certification in Fort Worth, TX next weekend.

The certification runs through the basics of exercise science, including gross anatomy, biomechanics, muscle anatomy and physiology, motor learning, metabolism, and adaptation, from the perspective of scientists trained outside the field of conventional exercise physiology. It's is a lecture-only seminar with a certification test required for passing. It is the epitome of Science-y.

I received the study materials for download a few days ago. It's heavy stuff. The role of the sympathetic nervous system in adaptation, Gray's anatomical diagrams, major body systems organization and organs, structural changes in muscle during contraction. There is a giant packet of material to read prior to the seminar, and I'm sure we'll cover all that and then some over the course of the weekend. Considering this is hosted by Dr. Lon Kilgore (co-author of Starting Strength) and Dr. Stef Bradford, the depth and breadth of subject material is not a surprise.

What is a surprise is how much I'm getting into it. I haven't taken a biology class in years - but I'm having a lot of fun trying to remember what "homeostasis" means (the body's ability to regulate physiologically its inner environment to ensure its stability in response to fluctuations in the outside environment) and where my supraspinatus is (runs along the top of the shoulder blade and inserts via the tendon at the top of the humerus). My big-picture goal post-seminar is to be able smoothly and seamlessly incorporate this Science-y material into my coaching feedback... at which point I am pretty sure I will have successfully achieved Total World Domination. Or at least feel really good about giving my students effective coaching feedback that is the perfect blend of practical and theoretical... much like my Trainer (who has LOTS of letters) does for me.

For those of you wondering why looking up kills hip drive, Coach Rip's explanation can be found here. And you can bet your lordotic extension that the next time someone asks me to explain proper head position in a back squat, I will be ready.

Buy-in

• Good morning stretch
• Good mornings, 10 @ 45#
• Snatch grip DLs, 5 @ 75#, 5 @ 75#, 5 @ 95#
• DL warm-up @ 125#, 145#

Strength day - Deadlift

• DL 3x5 @ 155# (just over 75% of 1RM)
• +10# from last week

Video'd all three sets, will review with Trainer later today. They look like a solid B to me, although I don't have quite as much back arch as the 145# set, and my shoulders aren't quite as retracted. Plus I still need to start with my hips a bit higher (thanks, Fireman Gray) because in a few reps, you can see my hips start to rise early. I also need to discuss with Trainer what constitutes a "set", because these touch and go reps aren't ideal... yet when I try to reset (thanks, Vanmeerbeek), I inevitably relax for a second or two, which makes the rest of them that much harder.

Cash out

• 3 rounds
• 7 KTEs
• 7 push-ups

Your deadlift looks really pretty today

My Trainer pulled a 435# DL the other day, but refused to count it, because he gave his form a D+. He sent me the video, and I watched it carefully. And realized that my Trainer is a ridiculously tough critic, as I've seen videos put out by CrossFit HQ with far worse form than that.

My Trainer and I have been talking a lot of "virtuosity" lately - how to incorporate perfect practice into my training, and how to work a program that rewards proper form in movements. One of the things we decided was that I needed to start video'ing everything - all my big lifts, at least - for review. As some of these moves are still pretty new to me, I don't have good body awareness when I'm deadlifting or squatting, so I'm a terrible judge of my own form. And as a result, I end up moving up in weight from one week to the next without correcting technique flaws. Which does me and virtuosity no favors.

The key to this whole program is that I'm not allowed to move up in weight unless he rates my form a B+. And that includes "max efforts". (I might be able to convince him to go down to a B on a max day. Maybe.) Common consensus is that some amount of form degradation is acceptable on a max effort. "Some amount of form degradation" is subjective. And since I'm not going for any world records or entering any competitions, my "some amount" will allow me to slack down to a B+ level. That's it. Sound tough? Yep. Does that mean I might lose a few pounds on my "max" power clean, or max squat? Yep. But that's his standard, and damn if this won't make my deadlifts, squats and power cleans really, really pretty.

Last week, I worked a set of 5x5 DLs at 70% of my 1RM. These weren't tough, but I wanted to really hammer in what I thought was perfect DL form. My Trainer reviewed and gave me a B+. Comments included what may be a funky bar path (the camera angle is from slightly behind, which I think has a lot to do with that), and more scapular retraction throughout the whole movement. (He prescribed some snatch grip DLs to work on that... sweet.) So a B+ means I get to move up this week, to a 3x5 at 155#. Which I'll record, and pass along for judgment, and either stay there or move on based on my grade.

Maybe it's the overachieving honor society nerd in me, but I'm digging this constant critique. And I like the high standards set by my Trainer - in fact, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Are you a form Nazi, or do you follow the 80/20 rule? Do you not have enough experience yourself to analyze someone else's form to that degree? Would you allow yourself to go up in weight with C+ form? How about D+ form, on a max effort? I'm interested to hear how others approach this subject.

Groundhog Day

I've recently started posting my daily soundtrack along with my workouts. I am going to save both of us some serious time right now, and order you to assume that for the next 21 - 28 days, one of the songs I've listened to during my workout is "Four Minutes" by Madonna and Justin Timberlake. I just downloaded it this weekend, and it will be a guaranteed play every morning, without fail, for the next 3-4 weeks.

My life, in general, is pretty much Groundhog Day. I find things I like, I beat them to death and then I get sick of them and move on to the next greatest thing. Which makes much of my day look exactly the same from one week to the next. Take exercises, for instance. Anyone remember the pistol Sots press that I was working a few times a week? Now, the pistol Sots is hardly an essential exercise. It's pretty much as niche-y as an exercise can get. But I found it, I loved it, and I'm beating it to death. So much so that I'm still practicing it a few times a week without writing it down here, for fear of getting yelled at by my Trainer. Because before it was the pistol Sots, it was double-unders. And before that, it was kettlebell windmills. And before that, it was plank position.

So if you fill in any of the above niche-y skillwork exercises with "X" in the next few sentences, you'll see what my poor Trainer is dealing with. See, nobody needs to do as much "X" as I'm doing right now. And "X" serves little purpose in my overall training goals. But I love "X", and "X" makes me happy, so I'm working "X" to death... until I tire of it and move on to "Y". At which point, "Y" will become the new "X".

Food is another area of my life set to constant repeat. I tend to eat the same things every day. One day, it's turkey and a banana with Sunbutter. The next, it's hard boiled eggs and a banana with Sunbutter. The next, it's turkey. And a banana. With Sunbutter. I don't require variety, which is why it's so easy for me to stick to a diet. But I also "find" meals that I fall in love with, eat every single day for weeks on end, and then get so sick of it that I cannot eat it again for a year. Currently (on top of the Sunbutter), I'm "on" 4 oz. of chopped grilled chicken, in a bowl with cubed granny smith apple, a handful of diced walnuts and some feta. I've eaten it every day for two weeks now. Every. Single. Day.

Maybe I'm just a creature of routine. Maybe with how busy my life is, it's just easier to know that several areas of my life aren't going to change from day to day. Maybe I'm SUCH an Instant Gratification girl that when I find something I like, I can't "save" it for later and stretch out the enjoyment. Whatever the reason, it's a safe bet that tomorrow, I'm going to (a) work my pistol Sots, (b) listen to Four Minutes and (c) eat chicken/apple/walnut/feta. Although I may sub out the apple for cranberry. Look at me, branching out.

Buy-in

• Jump rope, 5:34 (the length of Rihanna's "Live Your Life")
• Squat warm-up, stripper stretch

Workout

• 3x5 HBBS @ 115#
  
• +5# from last workout

These felt good for the first three reps of each set. Last two reps felt tough. Took video, which I will send along to Trainer for his grade. I'm not allowed to move up in weight unless I get a B+ on form. I suspect I'll be at 115# next week too. Considering this weight is 90% of BW, though, I'm feeling pretty good about this new squat form.

This 3x5 program says I should do TWO strength exercises on a 3x5 day, but I'm still taking it easy post-mono, so I'll only be working one exercise at a time for the next week or two.

Cash out - suitcase deadlifts

• 5L/5R @ 45#
• 5L/5R @ 65#
• 5L/5R @ 65#
• 5L/5R @ 65#
  

Suitcase deadlifts are the new Pistol Sots. Note, this is a 45# Oly bar with a set of 10# bumps... works your grip hard, trying to keep the bar balanced. Plus this is great for core stabilization, as you have to actively resist bending or twisting. Genius.

Music:

• Miss Independent, Kelly Clarkson (make fun if you must, but this one works for me)
• Nothing But a G Thang, Snoop and Dre (I can literally rhyme along to every single word)
• Give the Po' Man a Break, Fatboy Slim (perfect for DLs, it just makes me want to stand the f*** UP)

Byers Goes MMA

Considering I've already planned my outfit (red short-shorts, argyle knee socks, a purple hoodie and an eye patch) and my walk-out song ("Till I Collapse" by Eminem), I am pretty much ready to make my MMA fight debut right now. However, my visit to Nuri Shakir's MMA training facility (a "bro-gym" to Samy's CrossFit NH) wasn't about my martial arts career - it was about teaching some of Nuri's guys the basics of kettlebell training.

I hit Gold's in Nashua first to get my own kettlebell on. I did an hour of random KB work (swing variations, cleans, snatches, squats and thrusters, TGUs, windmills and get-up sit-ups) and a few random pull-ups and KTEs thrown in. Nashua is not my normal gym. I got a lot of strange looks, more than one straight-up eye-fuck (sorry, Mom) and was accosted by one very excited kettlebell practitioner who has been looking for a coach for quite some time. I also saw some of the worst "power clean" form ever, and watched a guy step out of the gym and immediately light a giant, smelly cigar. There was a LOT going on.

I met up with Kevin Daigle over at Nuri's box, where Nuri and three of his guys (Jeremiah, Steve and Doug) were waiting for their first ever introduction to the pood. We went through some joint mobility, a little lecture on kettlebell safety and then hammered the hell out of the deadlift and Russian swing, as well as the floor press and full TGU.

Having never touched a kettlebell before, these guys did GREAT. They all needed different cues, and they all had different technique flaws, but they paid such good attention when I was coaching their classmates that they were able to self-correct a lot of minor issues quickly. Daigle is a natural, but it probably helped that he's been swinging dumbbells during his CF WODs. Two quick fixes to his form and he had my 24K flying. By the end of the session, everyone was able to generate sufficient power with their hips to move the bell with good form.

The TGU went even better. While the swing is a pretty foreign movement, the grind of a TGU came a lot more naturally to these martial artists. We went through the progression slowly, and by the end, they were all doing the full movement with weight overhead, and looking damn stable doing it.

Coaching is pretty much the most rewarding activity for an Instant Gratification girl like me. There's nothing like watching someone struggling, and then watch a cue "click". I can SEE it happen - in their movement, in the kettlebell, but more importantly, in their faces. The eyes light up and I can almost see the light bulb shine... "Oh, THAT'S what this is supposed to feel like." It's awesome to see, and I think it make the client feel as good about themselves as it makes me feel as a coach.

Samy, Nuri and I are talking about how to make this a regular event, both for Samy's CrossFitters and Nuri's martial artists. In the meantime, I'll keep up with my own training and coaching... and practice how to look both bad-ass AND cute during my fight debut walk-out.

Buy-in

• Warm-up thrusters
  

Met-Con

• 21-15-9
• Thrusters (55#)
• Pull-ups (band-assist)

14:17

The pull-up bar (on the cable machine) at LRF is low, so the first three or four kipping pull-ups were unassisted, but I kept cracking my toes on the support beam underneath me. Dammit - why can't just ONE of my gyms build me a normal freakin' pull-up bar? I need clearance, Clarence. I can't generate enough power with a bent-leg kip yet, so I just grabbed my band to keep moving. Not my original plan.

Pull-ups took the longest. The thrusters went okay. My rounds were 7:00/4:30/2:30, although I wasted time in that first set going back for the band and getting that set up. My post-mono cardio capacity needs some serious WERK, too. Whew. I hope that Max is right, and my lungs come back quickly. I'm betting the next time I do this, I shave off 3:00 just because it'll be my second time through. I had zero strategy this first time around - I just wanted to get through it.

Cash out:

• Thruster practice w/ 65#, for form

Music:

• All Alone, Gorillaz (genius to start me out - not too fast, but ramps up nicely)
  
• Da Art of Storytelling (Pt. 2), Outkast (the first 30 seconds gets me fired UP)
  
• Four Minutes, Madonna and JT (my new favorite beat... it was hard not to dance around)
  
• Click, Click Boom, Saliva (the perfect end-of-met-con ass-kicker)

I have no letters

Yesterday's music post drew a lot of comments. Seems like everyone thinks they have amazing taste in music - and you're right. Some of these songs are so good, I can't believe I didn't have them yet (Indestructible by Disturbed), others I have, but have totally forgotten about (like Daniel's Propellerheads... one of my favorites). I've spent the whole morning downloading, and I still have a bunch of tracks to go. Thanks to all who shared their own special brand of musical genius.

So I sent an email to my Mom about my "guest feature" yesterday, since she doesn't really read my blog. And when I re-read the post on Go Healthy Go Fit, I realized something. MY qualifications are listed as "swears like a sailor" and "wears knee socks", while the guy below me has a BS and is NASM and CPR certified and is pursuing his Master's.

Huh.

The funniest part is, that is not inaccurate.

I've never claimed to be anything more than exactly what I am - a girl who lifts weights, eats food, does some other stuff and writes about it. I am not an expert. On anything. At all. Which, I suspect, is precisely why many of you read my stuff. I bet there are a lot of "us" out there - normal people who found fitness later in life, who black box on themselves, who aren't trying to qualify for the Olympics or join the Cirque du Soleil, but who are far more interested in their own diet, exercise and health than the average person. I speak from that perspective. I tak about my experiences, I pass along my own thoughts, I share good resources. Often, I pose more questions here than answers, and I am lucky enough to have a whole host of Truly Qualified readers who will answer them for us.

This is not to say I am totally clueless. About some things, I can speak with some authority. Diet, for one. I'm not a nutritionist, but I've played around with my own diet enough to know what general principles work, and what do not. So if you ask me a diet question, I can probably point you in the right direction. But if you want additional details or science-y back-up for my recommendations, I can point you in the direction of Robb Wolf or Keith Wittenstein.

Same with kettlebells. I can answer lots of kettlebell questions effectively. I can even coach you remotely - I've gotten really good at analyzing people's swings via video. But if you ask me something I can't answer, I will direct you to Martone. Or Struck. Or Fawn Friday. Or any number of kettlebell people with far more background, training and experience than me.

So maybe I am Truly Qualified in one thing... knowing where to find answers to the things that I don't know. In the meantime, I'm going to keep experimenting on myself, throwing my thoughts out there for the Truly Qualified to review, analyze and critique, and answering whatever questions you send me in the best way that I know how. But damn if I wouldn't like some letters after my name. Just because.

Melissa Byers, BAMF.

I'm off to get my Gold's on, and teach the Savages some kettlebells.

Lyrical air

Today I am being featured on the popular blog Go Healthy Go Fit, written by Andrew Rubalcava. Andrew has created an ongoing series of articles featuring fellow health and fitness bloggers and their favorite workout songs. Previous contributors include Rusty Moore of The Fitness Black Book (the only other person I know who listens to Josh Wink), Mark Sisson of Mark’s Daily Apple (a fellow Offspring fan) and Scott Kustes of the Modern Forager (surprisingly, a metal-head). I did a little blurb about my top five favorite songs, all designed to kick my ass into gear during the toughest parts of my workout.

Writing this piece was a dream job, considering two factors. One, put simply, I have truly amazing taste in music. There, I've said it. I have a fantastically cool, brilliantly eclectic musical collection, and it is pretty much my social obligation to share this music with the world.

Two, when I am training, music is my lyrical air. And that is not an exaggeration - I need music just as much as I need oxygen to breathe. The day I set foot in the gym and realized my iPod battery was dead was the worst training day of my life. I RELY on my music. It’s as integral a part of my training as kettlebells or bumper plates. I have special playlists for all my workouts (heavy power clean music is very different from Filthy Fifty music), and I have special songs within those playlists reserved for CrossFit Emergencies, to be used only in the most dire of circumstances… like round five of Kelly or a 1RM deadlift attempt.

My dependence on music almost came to blows one morning while training with Haskell. We were working the push-jerk, giving each other verbal coaching, feedback and encouragement. (Translation: We were yelling and swearing, which seems to work well for both of us.) When it came time for my PR attempt, this is how things went down.

Me: I’m going to put my headphones on now.

Haskell: Um, but then you probably won’t be able to hear me.

Me: I know.

Haskell: Come on, we’re training together. You don’t put headphones on when you’re training with someone.

Me: I need my music.

Haskell: No, you don’t. I’ll talk you through it. You’ll be fine.

Me. I think Pennywise.

Haskell: Sigh. I guess, if you really…

Me: (Not hearing a word he says, because I’m already 0:07 seconds into “Bro Hymn”.)

I nailed that push-jerk PR, by the way. See, my music speaks to me when I’m training. I will spend a full minute fast-forwarding through my library until I find JUST the right song that reflects exactly how I am feeling at that moment, for that movement. It helps me get Zen during handstands (Feist’s “Mushaboom K-os Mix”), it helps me get hostile before Oly lifts (Linkin’ Park and Jay-Z’s “Jigga What/Faint”) , it helps me keep pace while jumping rope (Chemical Brothers' “It Doesn’t Matter” ) and pick up the pace during a met-con (Ice Cube’s “You Can Do It”). It plays as big a part in my training as anything – so much so that for the next week, I think I’ll keep track of what I’m listening to right in my workout log, along with reps, sets and times. And I would not be surprised to find that the music I listen to makes as big an impact on my training as how much rest I’m getting or how many calories I’m eating.

I hope you enjoy the article, and that you give some of those songs a chance during your next tough workout. Feel free to post your own favorite workout songs to comments, too. Although chances are, if they're good, I've already got them. I’m just saying.

Dialing in Your Diet - a CF Virtuosity workshop review

Bacon-shunning yogis and a wild NYC snowstorm couldn't stop the magic of CrossFit Virtuosity's first nutrition lecture, "Dialing in Your Diet." Hosted by Keith Wittenstein and Samantha Orme, this three hour workshop was designed to teach the basics of the Zone Diet, and how to optimize it for yourself and your clients.

Since I could not attend myself, I suggested my sister Kelly register. She has been searching for the last “missing piece” in dietary strategy, and this was a prime opportunity to learn the basics of the Zone and what foods best fit into the plan. Which was the reason I gave her when I recommended she sign up. The behind the scenes was that I felt this workshop could prove critical in my relentless effort to guarantee her inevitable immersion into CrossFit. (It's genetic destiny, don't fight it.) Here is Kelly’s review of the event.
_____

CrossFit Virtuosity’s nutrition workshop was the perfect blend of "The Next Food Network Star" and a college nutrition course. Aside from eating Zone bars as a snack, this was my first foray into learning about the diet. I enrolled on a bit of a whim (I wasn't LOOKING for a diet course), and was pleasantly surprised by the environment. I didn't feel like anything was being forced on me, and there were no gimmicks or empty promises... It was like, here are the principles, here are some simple ways to incorporate it into your life, this is some yummy food to eat… do with it what you like.

Content-wise, it was very simple. No crazy acronyms or assumptions that everyone already knew about blocks and percentage ratios and Ps, Fs, and Cs. We simply talked about food (REAL food!) and how to shift your eating to suit a lifestyle, whether you are a habitual eater like myself or a variety-lover like Keith. He juggled the preparation of several Zone meals (a bacon, tomato and spinach frittata, a hearty chili, and a sweet potato mash) while talking to the group about the basics of the Zone diet, the overall impact of nutrition on training and why it was so important to make good food choices. He even hauled a 4-foot whiteboard on the SUBWAY so that he could draw pyramid diagrams and write down key words like 'blocks' and 'fat trannies'. (Ask Jeff Yan - he'll fill you in). It was a really relaxed vibe and, the perfect environment for absorbing the basics of the Zone, learn about Paleo, and hearing a little about everyone's personal trial-and-errors from past nutrition plans.

I didn’t learn anything shocking, and there were no big surprises, but in those few hours I had a very real shift in they way I view food vs. "food." (i.e. - Real Food vs. Stuff You Can Eat). During the whole discussion, every available inch of countertop was filled with FOOD - apples, avocados, vegetables, eggs, cheese. FOOD. In stark contrast, I was in Starbucks yesterday getting a coffee and was looking at the goods in the display case… blueberry muffins, scones, cinnamon rolls. I couldn’t help but think, that is not FOOD. I know that now.

I left the seminar inspired to start incorporating what I’d learned into my own diet immediately. Keith and Sam sent us home with almost 100 pages of Zone materials – articles, reference charts, Zone block resources, recipes and your own personal food journal. I carry around this "Dialing in your Diet" packet everywhere I go, and have been diligent in measuring and weighing, counting blocks and keeping track of everything I eat in the food journal. I dropped a Benjamin at Whole Foods on Sunday (mostly on frozen broccoli - ha, ha, ha - Zone humor already!) and have been preparing most of my meals/snacks ahead of time. I'm only on day four, but I'm really loving it and feel fantastic. My active time feels more active, my rest time is more restful. I feel sharper overall. The skeptic in me wonders how much of this is projected or imagined and how much is real Zone-eating results, but am committed to sticking with it to find out.

Thanks for sending the link and hooking me up with the crew so I could attend. Nutrition stuff aside, the group was so welcoming and I really enjoyed meeting everyone. And yes, Jeff Yan WAS wearing pants. (Why would you even ask that?)

xoKelly

PS - During the session, I asked Keith about the importance of variety in "eating Zone." His response was, "Zone really works for people who are habitual eaters - people who like to eat the same thing every day." I mean, C'MON. It might as well be called "The Urban." I am destined to succeed.
_____

My sister is a fantastic writer - my new favorite concept is distinguishing Real Food from Stuff You Can Eat. She's been sending me Zone and Paleo questions every day since the workshop (we've already doubled her fat, based on her activity levels), and I can tell that she is really excited about making these changes. She'll be even more excited when she starts seeing real, verifiable results.

Keith and the Virtuosity gang don't have another diet workshop on the calendar yet, but look for another one in the next month or two. Rumor has it they are even considering taking the show on the road. Keith can cook in my kitchen any day. (Why does that sound dirty?) In the meantime, keep an eye on www.CrossFitVirtuosity.com for updates.


My sister, Kelly Urban - quite arguably, Richard Simmons' biggest fan.



Buy-in

• Handstand practice - 1:00 holds
• Practice and rep for one-handed against the wall. Which is SO not happening right now. For so many reasons.

Front squat 3x5s @ 75% of 1RM

• Warm-up @ 45#, 75#
• 5@95#
• 5@95#
• 5@95#

These felt heavy. I haven't done front squats since OCTOBER. WTF? Elbows up was a challenge and they just felt weird. Clearly, I should be doing these more often than once every four months.

Push press 3x5s @ 75% of 1RM

• Warm-up @ 45#, 55#
• 5@65#
• 5@65#
• 5@65#

I still need more practice with the technique Keith showed me. Some reps were good, others were harder than they had to be. I spent a lot of time just holding the bar in perfect position overhead. I see lots of OHS, overhead walking lunges and overhead static holds in my future.

Cash out

• 4:00 of L-sits, parallette push-up and parallette dip practice. Where the hell did my L-sit go?

Byers Gets Premium - MaD CrossFit

I've been hard at work with another CrossFit graphic design project this week – the logo, blog banner and t-shirt designs for MaD CrossFit (Matt and Donna Dyson’s new affiliate). Currently located in Great Barrington, MA, Matt and Donna hope to eventually relocate their CrossFit box to Matt’s home country of New Zealand. The kiwi bird, native to NZ, was the perfect tie-in for the logo. Donna’s friend Trish sketched the original concept, which I then transformed for web and print. You can see the concept progression below.

Graphic design is my other, other job (besides my nine-to-five, and my CrossFit-related training gigs). While I’ve done lots of commercial work (I contract for an IT consulting firm, and freelance for a PR firm in NYC) I have recently been working on more and more CrossFit designs. Which, come on, is PERFECT. For one, I know the audience, so I’m better able to come up with original ideas that hit the target. Two, it combines two things I absolutely love – training and design. And finally, my CrossFit clients are SO easy to work with. They’re cool, they’re creative, and most importantly, they recognize that while they can coach the hell out of a thruster and pull-up, they don’t know a damn thing about graphic design. As such, they actually allow me to do my job. (Unlike the rep for Cointreau, who kept ordering me to shrink all my fonts down until their e-vite depicted what looked like premium ants marching across a premium martini glass.)

So far, I’ve done some thank-you cards for Iron Core Kettlebells, a logo and banner for CrossFit Katy and the web banner design for The Savage Society, plus a few random CrossFit t-shirts, plus all my own kettlebell marketing materials. Eventually, I’d like to be able to support myself with just my graphic design projects and coaching gigs. That would be totally premium.

The kiwi progression for MaD CrossFit

"Just go AROUND me"

Yesterday's deadlift discussion prompted a comment from Thor! (the aptly named alter ego of Justin Algera of CrossFit Brooklyn). Justin commented on my DL issues, and then added a little behind the scenes commentary. Which is probably going to get him in trouble. But while I am technically adding fuel to the fire by bringing it up again, he posted it publicly first. My conscience can live with that. Justin said:

"DLs have always been a bit difficult for me because I have shorter arms... I've gotten much better from basically just starting at an embarrassingly low weight and worked up from there. My wife has the same issues, but of course she hasn't gotten much better because all she ever wants to do is argue with me in the gym. I'm starting to believe more and more that maybe I should just not try to coach her and shut the hell up. You think I would have learned by now."

Yes, Justin, you should shut the hell up. And yes, you should have learned by now. There are lots of couples who train together, and probably coach each other. Matt and Donna Dyson of MaD CrossFit, Ryan and Charis of FitQuest and Daniel and Rebecca of On Rock? Rock on! are three who immediately come to mind. Of course, I'm assuming that (a) they do, in fact, train together, (b) they do, in fact, coach each other and (c) they still, in fact, like each other. I am pretty sure my assumptions are correct, though. And I have no idea how they manage to do all three at once.

I learned a long time ago never to let my boyfriend (or husband) teach me anything. At all. Ever. It all started the day my favorite ex-boyfriend Nathan took me snowboarding for the very first time.

___

9:00 AM: Arrive at the mountain with Boyfriend, who immediately sticks me on a chair which dumps me off next to a sign with a blue square at the top of the mountain.

9:10 AM: After extricating myself from 7 person pile-up under my chair lift (sorry, I'm new), butt-scoot my way over to Boyfriend, who is rolling his eyes at the top of the hill.

9:10 - 9:13 AM: Receive entirety of snowboarding lesson from Boyfriend.

9:14 AM: Attempt to make sense of the 72 different cryptic phrases Boyfriend is yelling at me (what the f*** is a heel side edge?) as I careen wildly downhill.

9:22 AM: Set myself down firmly in the middle of the mountain sobbing hysterically and give Boyfriend the finger while screaming at an entire class of 6 year olds to "just go AROUND me!"

9:53 AM: Finally arrive at bottom of mountain (minus one mitten and brandishing someone's ski pole), where Boyfriend is waiting with already-paid-for Handsome Snowboard Instructor.

10:15 AM: Smile and wave happily to Boyfriend on chairlift as I gracefully (albeit slowly) carve my way down the bunny trail behind Handsome Snowboard Instructor.

___

Since that day, I have always sought outside counsel for all instructional situations. Turns out I'm not the only one - after several similar experiences, CrossFit Fire owner Jennie Forman cautions, "Never learn a new skill from your significant other. This is limited but not restricted to the following activities: golfing, snowboarding, tennis, how to use Excel spreadsheets, and rollerblading. Failure to adhere to this warning may cause a temporary breakdown in your relationship."

So, Justin, you are hereby warned. Learn from our mistakes. The next time your wife sets up to deadlift, bring Greg or David over, smile brightly and slooowly back away until you are on the other side of the gym (or, preferably, out the front door entirely). Your relationship - and her CrossFit Total - will be that much better for it.

My husband - a very smart man who teaches me nothing.


Buy-in:

• Coach Boz OHS warm-up
• OHS x 10 (stick)
• OHS x 5, x5 (25# bar)
• OHS x 5, x 7, x 7 (45# bar)

These got better as the sets went on, but it is clear I haven't worked these in ages. This was a fantastic warm-up and the perfect buy-in.

Met-con:

• 21 calories row
• 12 thrusters 55#
• 12 KTEs
  

• 15 calories row
• 9 thrusters 55#
• 9 KTEs
  

• 9 calories row
• 6 thrusters 55#
• 6 KTEs

Not for time (meaning I wasn't hustling), but it took about 15 minutes. This was my first foray into met-con since the mono. It felt GOOD. Thrusters were surprisingly good - I think Wittenstein's push-press lessons really helped with these as well. Yes, this was a good compromise met-con for my first week back.

Cash-out:

• 4 tabata intervals of plank position

What is, Because it’s two more reps.

Why are sets of five SO much harder than sets of three? Not just tougher - disproportionately tougher. Translates to ten pounds tougher. And thanks for playing, but your smart-ass obvious answer isn't helping.

Today was my first day back in the gym (like, really back) in two weeks. I’m being careful not to overdo it this week – I’m doing lighter intensity workouts and will probably work a 2 on 1 off schedule for the first week, to make sure I’ve kicked this mono once and for all. I could use this excuse as to why my 5x5 deadlifts today were only at 70% of my 1RM. But truth be told, I can’t deadlift much more than that for five reps with really great form. And with this strength program, if I’m not doing it with really great form, I’m not doing it at all.

My deadlift 1RM is 205#. I pulled that with excellent form, as judged and verified by a room full of CrossFit trainers down at CF Boston. Generally accepted standards (like Coach Rippetoe’s) says that I should be able to pull sets of five at 85% of my 1RM. That translates to sets of five at 175#. Let me tell you, that ain’t happening – not with good form, at least. After the first two or three reps, things quite literally fall apart. I lose retraction in my shoulder girdle, my back starts to unlock and it’s as if my body completely forgets how a deadlift is supposed to work.

It’s not just the DL… my cleans are the same way. (Probably because it’s a similar movement.) I’ve talked to my trainer about this, at length. At his direction, I looked back through my strength work for the past six months, and it became abundantly clear HOW this happened. Lots of sets of singles, doubles and triples. Practically zero sets of five. And never sets of five with a trainer watching my form (so I don’t trust for a second the sets of five I HAVE pulled).

It's not that I consciously sacrificed form for weight. I would never have cheated myself like that, although in retrospect I was clearly hasty with adding weight to the bar. I just did not realize how much my form had slipped, because I got out of the habit of taking video on a regular basis. It's amazing how much room there is between what you THINK your body is doing, and what your body is actually doing, even for those of us that are pretty kinesthetically aware.

I asked my trainer to explain what I've been missing by skipping over the longer working sets, specifically for my deadlifts. Here is an excerpt from our conversation.

_____

Trainer: One point: it's not just about building strength, muscle size, and endurance in the muscles that actually drive the movement - though you need to do that, for sure. Higher rep ranges tend to challenge the integrity of all of the stabilizing muscles, which is often what will cause failure at a near 1RM. For example, quad and glute strength/endurance is almost never the cause of OHS failure. This is not to say that your stabilizing musculature is weak, but when it comes to heavy stuff, "strong" isn't strong enough.

Me: Agreed. The other thing, and I don't know how to put this technically, is that I think my body just needs more PRACTICE at the movements, multiple reps all in a row. My last set today - specifically, the last two - were funky at best. I had this weird movement hitch in the knee and hip that I knew wasn't right, but my brain couldn't get my body to correct it. It's as if things just get overloaded and start short-circuiting. Now YOU put that in science-y terms, because while I'm sure the phenomenon is real, "spazzing out" isn't that technical of a description.

Trainer: I can, in fact, put that in science-y terms. It's called "neurological fatigue." Which is not really a medical or scientific term, but it's the phenomenon that explains the dis-coordination you're experiencing. And the DL is, in my opinion, the most neurologically fatiguing exercise. That's why I discourage people from performing potentially injurious movements (read: DLs) at a high percentage of 1RM for >5 reps. The neurological fatigue almost guarantees that the fundamental mechanics become less sound as your CNS (and peripheral nerves) lose the ability to coordinate and activate all of the important stabilizing muscles - even if the actual prime movers (the big, strong muscles that actually perform the work) have the innate muscular capacity to do more. So the way to train and improve your stability, your efficiency of movement, is to DO IT. Make sense?

Me: Perfect sense. Just science-y enough to lend you credibility. Not so science-y that I'm glazed-eyed and drooling.

Trainer: One last thing. I would also like to remind you that just because you're doing "light" pulls for more-than-usual reps does not mean that you should back off your get-mad-and-stomp-your-feet-like-a-rabid-caged-animal intensity. Get MAD. Try to scare someone twice your age. Swear at someone. Pick me, for all I care. In fact, please pick me. I dig it. Or, just read Gilson's Bringing Out The Dead. That works for me every time.

_____

Genius all around. Now that he's set me straight, it's time for me to fix it. We've come up with a really good plan to correct this discrepancy. Start lighter, and don’t move up in weight until I can pull five reps with good form, as verified via video review. Sort of what I should have been doing from the start, but these sort of things tend to happen when (a) you train on your own most of the time, and (b) you have an ego.

So on paper, it's going to look like I’m regressing. But I give that paper the finger, because I care more about actually BUILDING strength and endurance than appearing as if I have in the written record. I’m not a New Year Resolution kind of girl, but if I were to make one this year, it’s going to be to trade a significant chunk of my ego for a big ol’ hunk of virtuosity.

Buy-in

• Jump rope 6:13 (the length of the Chemical Brothers song, "It Doesn't Matter")

• 3 rounds of
• 10 KB American swings (16K)
• 7 push-ups

Workout - DL 5x5

• Warm up with sets at 45#, 95#
  

• 5 @ 145#
• 5 @ 145#
• 5 @ 145#
• 5 @ 145#
• 5 @ 145#

Cash out

• Renegade Row (16K), 5L/5R
• One leg RR (16K), 5L/5R
• One leg RR (16K), 5L/5R

Grab that one, it's thicker

It's been a super busy weekend full of extra training goodness. Yesterday, I spent two hours hanging out and training with Samy and the Savage Society (CrossFit NH). Me, Samy and John Waterhouse talked a lot of movement and exercise theory, and then worked on our pull-ups and kipping on Samy's new (super thick) pull-up bars. Gripping these things was a challenge, but it was a great variation from the bars I normally work on. Samy showed us some assistance techniques to really max out our pull-up numbers, and I got a lecture for working FAR too many chin-ups and nowhere near enough overhand grip pull-ups. I swore a few times at that one, but he's right - overhand grip will be my focus between now and my Level I.

We also worked the crap out of the Burgener warm-up, and the OHS. Samy (pointing to a dowel): Grab that one, it's thicker, more like what you're used to. Me: That's what she said. Samy helped me correct my landing position (too wide, toes turned out way too much) and caught something that will probably help in all my overhead movements (a tendency to unhinge at the ribs). My cue for that is "ribs down", which I know my trainer has drilled into me time and time again, but I've sort of forgotten about it. Samy's garage is really coming together, and I can't wait to meet the rest of his group next Saturday when I teach my first kettlebell class for the affiliate.

After Samy's, I drove up to Dover to meet up with Danny Vee of North Shore CrossFit and check out Colin and Christine's new CrossFit gym - Seacoast Kettlebell. They've got a fantastic spot, and are working hard to install new pull-up bars and add to their ever-growing arsenal of equipment. They offer a ton of classes every week, and have made growing the affiliate their full-time job. There is nothing like their studio in the NH Seacoast area, and I can't help but think if you live in the area, you'd better register for classes now, while they still have the space. I'll be helping out by "guest-coaching" over there in a month or two, and there's talk of Danny and I coming back for an "Intro to Zone/Paleo" talk with his members too.

The Savage Society



Seacoast Kettlebell

Burpees vs. Cookies – nobody wins

Right now, I am supporting my friend Jenn in a "30 Day, No Grains, No Sugar" challenge. In fact, there have recently been a ton of 30 day diet challenges posted - on the CrossFit Message Boards, on Facebook, within individual CrossFit affiliates. The “No Sugar Challenge”, “Paleo Challenge”, “Zone challenge”… take your pick, because they are all up for the joining. The idea is to shock your dietary habits into behaving – giving the cold-turkey finger to food and drink that has a detrimental effect on your training, weight loss or overall fitness goals.

For many, this is a pretty extreme sacrifice. Saying sayonara to Diet Coke, ice cream, candy – these may be things that you consume on a pretty regular basis. Breaking the habit of reaching for a sweet when you are bored or pounding a Red Bull when you are tired requires some serious willpower and mental toughness. In fact, such an extreme challenge will probably require some external motivation – a factor designed to help you stick to your Paleo guns.

Most challenges have instituted a “cheat penalty” – a punishment for guzzling that Guinness or sneaking that snickerdoodle. Burpees appear to be the punishment of choice, for obvious reasons. I mean, unless you are Adam Drake, nobody likes burpees. So there’s your motivation – eat a cookie, do some burpees. How many? Some challenges say ten. Others say 50. Still others say one cheat is 100 burpee-worthy. Holy hell, that is one metabolically expensive cookie.

The trouble is, that is not an effective means of motivating yourself to stick to a diet. Oh sure, it seems like it would be. I mean, staring at that cookie, you can’t help but think to yourself, “I want the cookie… but do I 100 burpee want the cookie?” In a perfect world, the answer would be hell no, crisis averted, challenge intact. Except most of us don’t think that long term. Yes, from cookie to burpee is, in fact, “long term”.

Punishment is an ineffective motivator because it happens AFTER the fact. You still get the good stuff first, and to those instant gratification-oriented people, that’s all you can see. Cookie now. And you’ll worry about the burpees later. Sometimes much later – how many transgressors eat the cookie then immediate drop into push-up position? It may be hours later that you find yourself mid-jump-clap, thinking, I can’t even remember what the stupid cookie tasted like. Plus, once you actually start doing the burpees, there is not a freakin’ thing you can do about your diet slip. Nada. Nothing. The cookie is gone, and you're still stuck doing burpees. Finally, punishment teaches nothing about how to change behavior. It says what not to do, seldom what you should do.

And how does this punishment affect you emotionally? You don’t forget punishment, you suppress it. The punishment makes you feel frustrated, angry, anxious and resentful. You may learn to fear the behavior that leads to the punishment, but that does not always propagate the desired behavior. If your teenager gets detention for not finishing their homework, it may not lead to a completed algebra assignment - they may decide to cut school instead. It is simply human nature to try to find ways to escape or avoid punishment.

Which means for some of you, you’ll continue to sneak cookies and do burpees. And eventually you’ll start thinking, this is dumb. Dammit, I am a Grown Up Person. If I want to eat a cookie, I should be able to without being punished like a six year old. Or you may start taking out the punishment on those you perceive as the “punishers” – your CrossFit trainer, your encouraging and supportive wife, yourself. Or you’ll find ways to avoid the punishment, by instituting a secret “3 PM cheat” rule or straight-up lying about your compliance to your challenge group. In all circumstances, the desired behavior (cleaning up your diet) falls to the wayside because the external motivation designed to keep you on track is relentlessly, sneakily pushing you to self-destruct.

Take, in contrast, CrossFit San Francisco’s pre-payment penalty. Want a cookie? Do 100 burpees FIRST. Yep, buy-in with 20 minutes of pushing, jumping and clapping and you get your three bites of sugary delight. Is this method any better? It omits one of the issues above – since you’re taking your “punishment” up front, you have the power to change your behavior at any moment. Decide it’s not worth it? Stop doing burpees and skip the cookie. But it does not address the other concerns. Do burpees teach you how to eat better? Does the movement suggest a better dietary choice? Will clapping overhead improve your understanding of how the cookie affects your insulin response? Negative on all counts. In fact, in no way does any kind of burpee punishment fit your dietary crime. (And don't even TRY to argue that it burns off those cookie calories, because you and I both know that is NOT why you began this challenge in the first place.) No, the punishment is merely the CrossFit equivalent of a bitch slap, designed to pound you into submission.

So what are you supposed to do? I agree that you need some motivation – it’s tough to successfully work something this strict on willpower alone. So find something that does for you what the burpee rule does not. Make it timely, and pre- (not post-) cookie. Make it teach you what you should be doing, not just hammer what not to do. And make it relevant to the behavior in question.

The next time you’ve got cookie in hand, stop. Remind yourself of all the reasons you undertook this challenge in the first place. Pull out your copy of Good Calories, Bad Calories, log on to The IF Life, read through the Message Board challenge thread. Learn more about how you are forging a healthier, happier mind and body by making these dietary commitments. Phone a supportive friend and ask them to give you three reasons why you really don’t need that cookie after all. Sit on a bench at your local mall Food Court and people-watch, reflecting upon how grateful you are to feel so fit and healthy. These external motivators will stay with you far longer than an infinite number of burpees, and will set you up for greater success during the length of your challenge… and beyond. Because after all, isn’t getting off the crack for good the real goal?