However, Dallas and I felt that as a registered CrossFit Affiliate, we needed take a formal position on recent events. We decided that Dallas would act as our official CrossFit Whole9 spokesperson, and issued a statement in response to Robb's de-affiliation announcement.
Robb,
You and Nicki have been good to us, and we appreciate that. We have and will continue to be vocal supporters of your training methods, professional conduct, and (science-based!) nutritional practices. You’d be proud – I ate ~4000 calories of good, clean, Paleo food between 7PM and bedtime last night. Greg’s programming is making me HUNGRY.
Dallas!
How the hell did you do that!? Give us a break down on the damage.
Thanks for the support WTW.
Robb,
Here’s the breakdown from last night’s madness:
Post-workout Meal 1 (around 7:30): 6 egg whites, 1 whole egg, 2 medium-large sweet potatoes.
Meal 2 (half an hour later): 10 oz local, organic, grass-fed sirloin steak (rare, of course!), 12 oz broccolini, 4 oz almonds, 1 pear.
Meal 2.5 (dessert from Meal 2, really): 1 can (14 oz) coconut milk, 3 oz walnuts, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1/2 cup frozen raspberries.
Meal 3 (about 90 minutes after 2.5): the second 10 oz sirloin steak I grilled for Meal 2, 2 Jazz apples with about half a jar of Sunbutter, and about 1.5 cups of sweet potato mash.
Meal 4: 5 hard-boiled eggs, 6 oz fresh blackberries, a big handful of brazil nuts.
Meal 5: 8 oz smoked salmon, half a honeydew melon (a DELICIOUS combination, BTW), and some sauteed zucchini/onions with fresh basil and lime juice.
“Meal” 6: an unrevealed (but very large) amount of Purely Decadent Mint Chip coconut milk “ice cream”. This stuff is CRACK. Be warned. Melissa introduced me to their Chocolate Explosion flavour, and we’ve been spreading the Decadent Love ever since.
And… I woke up RAVENOUS this morning.
Be well, my friend.
dude…you are a MACHINE!! All hail The Dallas!!
Renee@Dallas: Try Coconut Bliss’ “Mint Galactica” next time. I prefer theirs to Purely Decadent.
@Renee,
I’ll try the Coconut Bliss, if for no other reason than they make a dessert with the word “Galactica” in the name. That’s just over-the-top enough to get my attention. Though, if it’s any better than the Purely Decadent, I might be in trouble. Thanks for the recommendation.
Robb, have you noticed how I’ve ever-so-subtly distracted folks from the un-fun discussion of HQ politics by talking about frozen desserts?
Robb Wolf Yea dude, and they made haste in your direction. I nominate you for the next cult leader. This one will be based around ice cream.
I’m in.
JesseIce cream cult? Brilliant! I’ve even got the Catechism right here!
We begin our profession of faith by saying: “I believe” or “We believe”. Before expounding the Church’s faith, as confessed in the Cream, celebrated in the Ice and lived in observance of Ice Cream’s commandments and in prayer, we must first ask what “to believe” means. Faith is man’s response to Ice Cream, which reveals itself and gives itself to man, at the same time bringing man a superabundant light as he searches for the ultimate meaning of his life of creaminess.
(I could go on, but I wouldn’t want any roman catholics out there to hate me too much)
Robb, let me say in this public forum that my Coconut Cult will learn to quantify their frozen desserts in a very precise manner. Or else. You still in?
dude, it’s ICE CREAM. So long as I can weigh and measure by the litre I’m in. No smaller increments however.
I hereby decree that members of my Coconut Cult (”CocoNutties” – thanks Melissa) will quantify their frozen dessert ONLY by the litre. (Robb, I like the way you think.) If you are unable to commit your Dessert Soul to this worthy cause, you will be excommunicated and will bear the title of Dessert Infidel forever more. Jesse, apparently you instilled some potent (read: dangerous) religious fervor in me. Ha.
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And therein lies our official position on recent events. What have we learned from this unfortunate situation? Dallas eats A LOT. Robb likes ice cream. Anything with "Galactica" in the title is probably delicious. And I am good at coming up with clever names for made-up entities like Dallas' new Coconut Cult. I hope you agree that this has truly been time well spent.
Author's Note: I'd like to add that, while Dallas' coconut dessert choice isn't technically "Paleo"... we also don't care. Sure, it's processed and includes some emulsifiers... but as a dessert choice, and as a dairy-free, gluten-free substitute for "real" ice cream, Turtle Mountain's "Purely Decadent" line is a winner all around. I recommend the Mint Chip, which gives Breyer's a serious run for its money. The ingredients are below - Grok may not have eaten it, but WE sure as heck will.
INGREDIENTS: ORGANIC COCONUT MILK, ORGANIC AGAVE SYRUP, CHOCOLATE FLAKE (BEET SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, CHOCOLATE LIQUOR, SOYA LECITHIN, VANILLA), CHICORY ROOT EXTRACT, CAROB BEAN GUM, GUAR GUM, MINT FLAVOR.
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