Well, it's finally happening. The day I've been dreading since Dallas and I decided to affiliate. The day I knew was coming, but have been desperately trying to put off by any means necessary for the last three weeks.
Starting on Monday, Dallas will be in charge of the CrossFit 603 programming. Which means starting on Monday, Dallas will be in charge of MY programming.
Back in November 2008, I did a four week "Hard Routine", designed to test my mental fortitude and crank my diet and training up a notch. I went without booze, I went without caffeine, I went without maple syrup. And I trained hard, working all my goats and hitting all the things I normally want to avoid. Yet in my wrap-up post, I came to the conclusion that my H.R. still wasn't really that H. Why? Because I still had control over my own programming. Which, apparently, is the most important thing in my fitness priorities. I can give up cheat food and drink, train twice as hard, even work exercises I hate... as long as I still have the final say in what I do every morning.
I'm not sure why the idea of Dallas taking over my workouts gives me such anxiety. The fact that he has been helping me develop my own programming for three years should provide a good deal of comfort, right? It's not like he's going to come out with these retarded workouts, the likes of which I've never seen before. I mean, my stuff IS his stuff, which means it should feel like business as usual. And the fact that he knows my strengths and weaknesses, goals and goats should make me excited about the days to come. I'll finally be hitting my weak areas in a structured fashion - getting fitter, faster. And finally, he'll be programming based on our collective ideas - what we want our CrossFit to look like. Focused on strength. Kettlebells, gymnastics and lots of Oly. Keep it simple. Hit it hard. Based on that, I should be happy to do whatever he tells me to do.
Even now, when he gives me the occasional workout assignment, I do it. Exactly as he tells me, no complaints, no deviations. And it's fun to do something a little different, and I am always better off for having done what my Trainer told me to do. But, see... now I have to do that EVERY DAY. So if I wake up and he wants gymnastics, I get upside-down. If he wants us to met-con when I prefer to deadlift... too bad. If he programs a 7K row... I'm going to curse his name for 30 minutes straight, but I WILL ROW. I simply have to do what he tells me, for the sake of my fitness. Because that's what it comes down to... having the mental fortitude to successfully power through every workout, every day, even if I don't want to.
So maybe this is the piece of my training that's been missing. Testing my mental toughness, and being able to kick ass every day, regardless of what comes up on deck. Working through self-doubt, not having the option to scale, sub or flat out disregard my own previously designed workout. Maybe this is what is going to push my training - and my fitness - to the next level. Which brings me back, again, to Constantly Varied. Hi, C.V. I know I've been ignoring you like an annoying little sister trying to sit with me and my friends in the cafeteria at Nashua High, but as of Monday, you're about to get a total teen makeover AND be voted Prom Queen. So things are really looking up for you.
Look for Dallas' WODs starting next Monday, on the 603 site. Until then... me and the 603 will be playing with EVERYTHING I LOVE TO DO. So if our programming looks a little special right now - lots of 1RM attempts, tons of gymnastics and kettlebells, and more double-unders and pistols than anyone should rightfully be expected to do... well, now you know why. Enjoy. I know I will.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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HTFU!
(harden up, Byers)
Good for you. Every sadistic trainer deserves one of her own.
I can totally empathize with how you feel. Its tough releasing control of your programming to someone else, especially when you really have no idea what they concoct for you.
But... you are a trooper and you will do well regardless of how Dallas chooses to torture you. :)
I know the feeling. I just started Crossfit a few weeks ago and I am already missing my old autonomy. Though I'm getting my ass kicked by everything met-conny, I feel like it's been too long since I've done a heavy deadlift or squat (though I know they'll come up eventually).
As you said though, you've got to suck it up for the greater good of your fitness.
I'm with Gant. Suck it up buttercup! Your performance will probably SKYROCKET! :)
Byers,
What Gant, Jay, Patrick, and Bob said. Great article. Patrick also hit the nail on the head with his blog today. I feel convicted! My mental game is lacking and I am too much in control of my own programming. Time to kick it up a notch.........No....Several notches!
What the hell is it about women and 1-RM anyways? Had a nice little blow out with Leslie about those the other day. We get it your strong!!!
Anyways, it will be ok, and if you have to, you can always RTB (run to Brooklyn).
i struggled for years trying to get myself to the gym regularly. i'd put together what i thought was a good routine [usually from stoopid magazines] and i'd hit it hard and then get bored, then not know what to do, or just lose all motivation. i could go on about all the ways and reasons why i failed but ultimately, it was because i found it too easy not to do it, too easy to slack off, and i never saw results that really impressed me.
i started crossfit a year ago and have amazed myself with my progress. i sometimes grumble when i arrive at the gym and there are many days when i feel fearful or nervous because we're doing something i don't like or am weak at. but for me the success, and consistency in keeping it up, has been because i have no control. all i have to do is make a choice to get my butt out of bed in the morning and show up. i will be told how i will be kicking my own ass that day. and i love it. there is no chance for boredom and the trainers don't let me get away with half assed efforts or simple fear of a heavy weight. sure enough, once we get going, i get fired up and put my all into it. and i always feel good and proud and sometimes surprised that i made it through.
i am so grateful for finding crossfit. it has changed my life. i have discovered that i am capable of doing more than i have allowed myself to believe. and funny enough, i hate being told what to do in any aspect of my life except for this. my husband even jokes that i am a control freak. but for some reason, this works for me.
love your blog melissa. you make me think twice about a lot of things. if i ever have a chance to stop at the 603 you can certainly tell me what to do ;)
Ah yes...the fear of the unknown. Our CrossFitters (me included) are at the Mercy of Bill's programming.
Know what he made us do yesterday? 250 squats and 10 ROPE CLIMBS. Our rope hangs from a beam 20' in the air, and he wanted us to climb that damn thing 10 times. I saw the WOD and my hands cried.
Honestly, having someone else in charge of your programming takes some of the pressure off. Dallas' programming is SOLID. He'll take good care of you! If not, he'll have the fury of your internet following unleashed on him!
This is exactly why I started to follow the main site WOD - I make much better progress once I relinquish control. I'm sure it says something deep revealing and about my personality, but I will choose to ignore that :)
I know this comment is a bit behind the times but I'm playing catch up with blogs I follow as well as the CFJ. With that said I wanted to say "thanks" for your excellent CFJ article. I think much of that needed to be said. While I am thankful to never suffer from a full blown "eating disorder" I was a collegiate distance runner who certainly experienced episodes of paranoia and obsessive behaviors. The 5 days or so I attempted zoning in fall of '07 only sparked that mindset that I worked so hard to avoid. These days I believe I am 80% paleo + 20% mental health = to 100% CrossFitter. :) Best of luck with your affiliate! It's a lot of work but still pure fun!
Your post reminds me of this article from Again Faster’s Jon Gilson. Enjoy.
-You are not wired for progress. You seek a state of sameness, one where mental and physical stressors are nonexistent, and every day is just like the one before. Routine is bliss for your underperforming ass.
It’s not your fault. Evolution left you ready to do battle with nature, and civilization gave you a neutron bomb.
You should be outside, spear in one hand and shield in the other, looking for something to kill. Instead, you’ve got forty-five aisles of floor-to-ceiling shrink-wrapped grub, obtainable with nothing more than a plastic card and a smile.
You should be sprinting away from predators, seeking safety, but you’ve got fences, freeways, and a fifteen-digit algorithmically protected front door. You’ve got two guns, a can of mace, four layers of body armor, and nothing to worry about.
Unfortunately, your DNA doesn’t know this. Your hindbrain is programmed to save your resources for another day, conserving energy for an apocalyptic event that will never come. “Eat more, move less,” it says, and you’re eager to comply. The result is a forty-five inch waist and a mean case of diabetes.
You need a prod. A thousand volt, fifty-milliamp foot to the backside, designed to override your nonsensical attachments to comfort. You need me.
I am the stress that humanity has removed from your existence. I’m a grizzly bear charging at twenty miles an hour, the uncertainty of your next meal, and the reason you sleep with one eye open. I’m your coach.
I’m not yelling at you because I’m angry. I’m yelling because you need to be shoved away from calm and toward performance, brought to a place where death is imminent and action is the only option, and it’s my job to bring you there.
When my volume goes up and my tone gets clipped, you move rapidly. You execute. You drive faster and further into physiological discomfort, and you stay there. You leave six-way adjustable leather seats and lumbar support for the weak, and transport yourself to a place where ease is a distant memory.
Your hindbrain wakes up, and those resources, heretofore held for Armageddon, know that it’s go time. Fat melts, lungs sear, and muscles break down, all in service of getting away from me.
Day after day, you undergo this process, overcoming unreasonable obstacles until your recalcitrant brain is born again hard. Embracing pain and shunning comfort, you’re ready to kill or be killed. You’re rewired, no longer subject to the temptations of easy living and all-you-can eat buffets. You’re an athlete.
The pull of a painless life is too great to get here alone. You need me, the harbinger of change, the bullwhip, the irresistible rush of progress. I am your ticket to growth, and I’m sending you to battle civilization’s paradox with nothing more than a pointy stick. Ironically, you’ll win, and if that apocalypse ever comes, you’ll be ready.
-Jon Gilson
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