As a new trainer, I am constantly thinking about how best to communicate to my clients the technical aspects of the movements I am trying to teach them. But Lu is helping me understand that HOW I communicate WITH them is just as important - if not more - than WHAT I communicate TO them. Below, Lu talks about what it means to you and your clients to be an empathetic coach.
Coaching with Empathy
(An article by Lu Crenshaw, CrossFit Allegiance)
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." - John Maxwell
As a former Division 1 soccer player turned CrossFit coach, I have found that empathy and understanding are my biggest challenges. I am used to digging deep and busting my ass every WOD because of who I am. Because of this, I hold a very high standard for others, and expect the same from them. This is not necessarily a bad thing – my high standards and expectations usually drive good results for my clients. However, I have found that when I temper these standards and expectations with empathy, I can drive my clients to perform truly great achievements.
Most clients are reluctant to even walk through our doors. They've got plenty of reasons why it took them so long to come in. FEAR is really and truly the underlying factor. New clients are scared. Stepping into a CrossFit box is a whole different world, and they are usually grossly unprepared for what we are about to ask of them. CrossFit is physically demanding, but even more than that, it is a mental battle each and every minute. We have to teach them to win that battle, to dig deep and find the potential they never knew existed. In many, this is mental, emotional and physical strength that has been dormant far too long.
This process also requires a client’s vulnerability, and trust. Clients need to know they can let their walls down and allow their insecurities to emerge without the fear of rejection. They need to know that failure is okay – in fact, that failure is an important part of the process. And if they fail, they need to be confident that we will be there to push them through… whether that be encouraging them with, “You’ve got this, I know you do”… or telling them to get up, stop being a pussy and PICK UP THE BAR. Both of which, of course, I would say in the most loving and empathetic of tones. They need us to be tough, but we need to know who our client is and how far we can push them. How deep is their deep… how intense is their intense?
Our clients desire our approval and need to know that we are proud of them and the effort they exert. This is manifested in a different way for each client - and that is where a coach’s empathy comes into play. Clients need to feel safe both physically and emotionally; but they also need us to bring out the best in them, through any means necessary. The Firebreather doesn't need us in the same way as the insecure, weak, over-stressed "desk jockey" (who drinks too many venti caramel frappaccinos, extra caramel, hold the whipped cream). The Firebreathers already know what is inside them - they just need us to DEMAND it of them. The Desk Jockey, however, doesn't understand CrossFit. He needs us to teach him what “constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensity” is truly all about - and what it can do to change his life.
CrossFit is a unique program, in which you can take many generations (grandparents, mothers and fathers, young adults, teenagers and pre-teens) and have them all do the exact same WOD. But we as coaches must understand that they are all at a different place in their fitness levels and in their lives. Through our coaching, each one will find something new, inspiring, even life-changing within themselves. Whether they remember what it was like to be fit somewhere in their past, or discover new potential to be powerful, or see an improved quality of day-to-day existence through fitness, it is our job as a coach to bring that out in all of them, while bringing them all together.
I challenge you to find empathy in your own coaching – the kind of empathy that takes you AND your clients from good to truly great.
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Lucianne "Lu" Crenshaw is the owner of CrossFit Allegiance, in Medford, OR. Lu has a Bachelor's degree in Exercise Physiology, and is a former D1 soccer player. She is a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer, and is certified in Barbell, Gymnastics, Running/Endurance and Science of Exercise. She currently travels on staff as certification coach with both Mark Rippetoe and Jeff Tucker.
And I'm just gonna say it, 'cause you're all thinking it... DAMN, that girl has a rockin' ass.

12 people drop some props (leave a comment here):
AMEN Lu, very nicely put. It's amazing how long it took some of our best clients to get over the initial fear of something new and come in for their first session.
Amen, Lu. Nice words.
Nice post, Lu. This is why I would be a terrible full-time trainer.
Rock on, Lu! I'm excited to spent the weekend with you in the frozen tundra! Please show me some empathy.... :)
Coach Lu has changed my life! My 2009 is way better with Coach Lu giving this desk-jockey a daily dose of sweat-love-empathy-xfitting.
Great article Lu, and thanks MB for posting. I hold these values dear to my heart, because I am NOT a firebreather, I am really "one of them" and have empathy for the struggle, because I struggle too.
We all struggle....that's the beauty of CF. Empathy is my biggest downfall and that's why I wrote about it. I know it's hard for some coaches to be understanding of others struggles when we may not understand them. I work daily because I see what a little understanding can do for a client!!!
P.I.C. (Partner in Crime) thanks for giving me some time on your oh so popular blog. You inspire me lady!!! Keep it up!!!
Keith, I bought long john's yesterday I'm hoping to have a hoodie to go along with them....hmmmm...maybe? Bodyheat, bodyheat, bodyheat
Good write-up Lu. The concept of empathy is difficult for those of us who used to be highly competitive athletes, especially in team sports I think. We're used to separating ourselves from the fray with our ability to reach that extra gear. This makes it hard to understand people who don't have, or more accurately don't know HOW to get to that gear. Coaching ANYTHING, even football (which is where my experience is) will either teach you to empathize to some degree....or you will fail those people that need it. It can be tricky because not everyone responds to empathy expressed in the same ways. Some need directness....some need to see you show them by example you understand (possibly anecdotal).
THAT'S "MY" CROSSFIT COACH!!!!
YOU ARE SO DARN GREAT AT
EVERYTHING YOU DO. I AM SO
PROUD OF YOU.
LINDA THOMAS
Lu has come a long way in her empathetic coaching style in the past four years. Our unique relationship during a workout is a testimony to it. Her response to my fear of disappointing her in my workout last night was radically different than the past. I am 53 and my heart is a firebreather and my body is a desk-jockey wracked with years of injuries from my firebreather days. Her willingness to modify and encourage yet not baby me makes me want to keep going! She demands everything I have to give but sometimes she is the one that tells me I am trying to give more than my body can at this moment in time. I look forward to living the firebreather life again...with some modifications of course! Love you LU!
Jan Garcia (Lu's mom)
Lu-Was sent this by a fan of yours...you were destined for this life. Always the hardest worker, always your own critic, always a winner in your approach. You will make life better for all whom you influence. Keep up the inspiring work!
Your old coach,
jt
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