On Notice: Epstein... AND Barr

So, you know how I've been sick a lot lately, and my workouts have been intermittently crappy, and I've been going to bed at like 8 PM most Friday nights? (Okay, you wouldn't know that one, but take my word for it.) Turns out I have mono. As in, um, MONO. As in, I must be back in Junior High, so let's meet at the mall in our best jean jackets, suck back an Orange Julius and try on Keds at Thom McCann. This is what I get for being a 9th grade strumpet and making out with John Dillaby in the arcade's insta-photo booth.

The Mayo clinic says to get plenty of rest (which I already do), and to drink lots of fruit juice (which I absolutely will NOT), and then the following, which is so beyond comprehension that upon reading it, my brain attempted to fold on itself.

Wait to return to sports and other activities.

"Most signs and symptoms of mononucleosis ease within a few weeks, but it may be two to three months before you feel completely normal. The more rest you get, the sooner you should recover.

Returning to your usual schedule too soon can increase the risk of a relapse. If you're an athlete, be cautious about returning to strenuous activities or contact sports, especially if your spleen is enlarged, because of the increased risk of rupturing the spleen.

Although you may not be able to return to vigorous activities right away, your doctor may recommend gradual exercise to help you rebuild your strength as you recover from mononucleosis"

Now, those Mayo people seem pretty smart, and I appreciate that they care enough to offer this perfectly reasonable advice. But clearly, much of this advice was intended for People Who Are Not Me. My spleen, for instance, has already achieved Diesel status (way ahead of my shoulders, dammit), and therefore is in absolutely NO danger of exploding. So their "gradual exercise" can suck it. In addition, the idea of taking two to three months to fully recover is fine, if you're a lazy, underachieving bastard. Based on my first-born status, perfectionist tendencies and stubborn streak, I estimate I should be fully recovered in 10.7 days, plus or minus a few hours depending on external environmental factors.

Of course, I'm not a total idiot. I realize that I will have to alter my training to help my body recover. Which means swinging the 20K instead of the 24K, and scaling the Filthy Fifty to a Dirty Thirty. My trainer says sometimes I am more Stubborn than Smart. He would be proud of my excellent judgment here.

Point is, I don't feel totally fantastic, but I don't feel awful either. My gym sessions have been decent, and as it is rare for my workout to involve someone punching me in the spleen, there is no reason I can't continue to hit my program as outlined. If I'm tired, I'll take a rest day. And now that my Christmas carb-fest is a good week in the past, I'll keep IF'ing a few days a week, eating super clean and avoiding the martinis, which should help keep my energy levels consistent.

And I AM looking on the bright side... as Scott currently has no symptoms, this could actually come in handy around the house. No, YOU take the dog out, or Epstein and Barr will pay you a visit while you sleep. Apparently, mono took the last of my scruples, too.

Sit back and peep my scenario

(^ Place those lyrics without Google and score big points.)

I am a CrossFit pimp. (Technically "madame, but "pimp" just sounds cooler.) I love to hook good CrossFitters up with good Affiliates and trainers. I've arranged for my friend Cody to visit Tucker in Fort Worth, Anu to visit Keith in NYC and most recently, Daniel and Rebecca to visit Jen Conlin at Potomac CrossFit.

Daniel and Rebecca are two of my favorite CrossFitters. I'm an avid follower of their blog, called "On Rock? Rock on." They document their workouts with Max Lewin at CF East Bay, and write about all their rock climbing adventures too. So when they told me they were traveling for Christmas, and asked me if I knew anyone in the Washington DC area, I absolutely wanted to help them out.

Luckily, I knew just the spot. I met Jen Conlin at the gymnastics cert in Boston, but I'd been following her "Jen's Gym" blog for quite some time. She is one of the coolest CrossFit women out there - strong and smart, with a no-nonsense "go move some heavy-ass weights" kind of attitude. Plus I discovered in Boston that she packs a knapsack of fun - the naughty kind your mother may not approve of. I loved her on the spot. So I made the e-troductions and BOOM! Daniel and Rebecca trained with Jen last week. (I am still waiting for my fee, guys.) You can read all about the gym and their drop-in here.

Now I find out that Jen is hosting a Gymnastics Certification at PCF on February 21st and 22nd! How perfect is that? I've raved about this before, but I promise you - Tucker's certification is NOT to be missed. It's not just "gymnastics for adults"... it's CROSSFIT gymnastics for adults. He'll teach you how to get the most out of your CrossFit workouts, and take them to the next level by incorporating new moves on the floor, bars, parallettes and rings. These are skills that you won't find taught at most Affiliates, or at any other certifications. I've written about my cert experience here and here, and Lis Darsh and other Boston participants wrote about it on the Affiliate blog here.

Plus, since Jen's been through the cert before, she'll know exactly how to set it up to maximize space and make sure it runs smoothly. (And I can guarantee if Jen is hosting, it'll be a super fun crowd.) You can check out the cert details here, on the PCF web site. If you're on the East Coast, I highly recommend checking out the show.

Buy-in

• KB DLs, 24K x 10
• KB swings, 24K x 10
• KB DLs, 24K x 10
• KB swings, 24K x 10
• Renegade man-makers, 15# x 4
• Ring dips (band-assist) x 5

Met-Con

• 21 ring dips (band-assist)
• 6 KB swings (24K)
• 9 Renegade man-makers (20# DBs)
  

• 15 RD
• 12 KBS
• 6 RMM
  

• 9 RD
• 18 KBS
• 3 RMM
  

19:03

This was the perfect met-con for this program. Under 20:00, and more strength focused than straight-up cardio focused. Ring dips aren't really met-con for me, since I can only do about 5 at a time. The swings were a little rough but I love moving that heavy-ass 'bell around. (It's a York, so it's actually in pounds... 55#, to be exact. Which is a little heavier than a true 24K, and about 43% of my body weight.)

Those man-makers suck. With DBs in hand, drop down burpee-style to a push-up, renegade row left and right, jump back between your feet, clean and press. That's one. I discovered I can't do push-ups on dumbbells - I'm super awkward. I can't figure out where to put them - I tried narrow, wide, more in front, more underneath me... no matter what, I can't get full ROM, and my shoulder does this weird twisty thing. I have trouble with push-ups anyway, because of an old injury... I need to play with these more.

Next time I need to use 25# DBs. And keep it to under 20:00. I'll put this one on deck again for two or three weeks out.

Cash out

• Circus tricks on rings for about five minutes. Too tired to do anything impressive.

Squats and milk, bitches

I *finally* got some eye candy at the gym this morning. And I'm not talking about a cute boy - we've got plenty of those hanging out at Gold's. No, I'm talking about walking in this morning and seeing my Gym Boyfriend doing dumbbell man-makers in a 35# weighted vest. I almost swooned.

Now, he's my G.B. for a reason. He appears to be the only one in the gym who knows what he is doing. He deadlifts, squats (below parallel), power cleans and the other day, I swear I saw him doing something that looked like split jerks. Plus he gives great spot - he knows better than to touch the bar until it is literally crushing my diaphragm. So he's been my Gym Boyfriend for almost a year now... but today, he moved up another notch in my book. He said the weight vest was a Christmas present to himself. I could have hugged him.

Juxtapose this with the retarded scene going on behind us, involving a Gold's Gym "trainer" and her poor, clueless client. I had to watch them do something that worked a big ball and a little ball into some kind of kicking, bending ballet-meets-Jazzercise movement that reminded me of Will Ferrell's gymnastics routine in Old School. Only with worse form, and less functionality. That poor girl spent an hour doing quarter-squats on her toes, calf raises holding a 5# BodyBar and various twisting, jerking motions while balancing her upper half on a Swiss ball. I swear, sometimes I just want to run around that gym in my CrossFit Brooklyn t-shirt with a barbell overhead, yelling, "Squats and milk, bitches!" at the top of my lungs.

(Note, "S&M, B" is a phrase I stole from Jamie Skibicki. He swears it is a response appropriate in absolutely every situation. I'm starting to believe him.)

Buy-in

• Coach Boz OHS warm-up
• OHS x 10 w/ PVC
• OHS x 10 w/ 25#
• OHS x 10 w/ 45#
  

3x5 Exercise 1 - Power Clean (starting point, 75% of 1RM)

• 5@75#
• 5@75#
• 5@75#

3x5 Exercise 2 - High bar BS (+5# from last week)

• 5@105#
• 5@105#
• 5@105#

These felt great. I can push through my heels, my knees stay out, my torso stays upright and I get way below parallel. Plus set two and three felt better (and were easier) than the first, which means I can still keep picking up pounds by improving my form. I'm pretty happy with this.

Cash out

• Tabata squats. Ha.
  

15/15/16/15/14/14/14/14 = Total of 117

This was a monumentally Dumb idea after working back squats (as my scores attest), but I figure I'll be doing plenty of air squats at the Level I cert next month, so I'd better start practicing. Pressing down on the clutch in my car was really hard after this. I drove from the gym to work in 2nd gear the whole way.

You can stop mocking me now, 70# press

I am *finally* feeling better today, yay. Thanks for all the advice and thoughts as to why it is I might keep getting sick. I'm sure the answer is (D) all of the above.

I did get into the gym today for a little while, just to kick a few things around and test how much I can do before I start hacking up a lung. (Answer: not much) Did 30 kipping pull-ups (in sets of 3-5) and accumulated 3:00 of handstand holds. The pull-up bar at LRF is such that I need to put my hands either wider or narrower than normal. rant: Why can't my gyms just put up a normal f'ing pull-up bar? One bar, normal thickness, straight across, high enough so I can keep my legs straight when I kip? Nothing sticking out in the middle, no weird structure, just a god damn BAR. HOW is that so f'ing DIFFICULT? /rant The kipping went better when I narrowed my grip. I tuckered out quick today, but I plan to get lots of kipping practice in the next six weeks and today was a decent start.

Also, random... on my way out, I had this sensation of being quietly taunted. As I was in the gym by myself, I couldn't figure out what it was, but I also couldn't shake it. Then I realized... it was the squat rack. More specifically, the bar sitting on the squat rack. It was calling me names, backed up by a pair of 10# plates and a couple of 2.5#s. It was a chorus of mockery, and I could NOT just walk away. Dunno, for some reason I just wanted to try to push that damn elusive 70# up over my head today. So I warmed up with a few 45# presses and then loaded up the bar and gave it a go.

And it went.

Kinda easy, too.

Yes.

Note, I have already broken the rules of my new program (which sort of hasn't even started yet), which was that 1RM attempts would be done in a structured fashion after several weeks of working 3x5s. Spank me. And fuck it, because I've been going for this press FOREVER and finally, today, I got it.

If a press PR goes up in a gym all alone, does anyone hear my happy dance?

I will crane kick you all the way back to kindergarten

I'm not writing about any cool training things because I haven't been training. I've been home sick since Christmas, and today is the first day I might actually be able to get out there and do something. (Strength-y, not met-con-y. I have too much crap in my lungs to breathe hard.) I have been sick a lot in 2008... way more than normal. Which is ironic, because I'm the healthiest I've ever been this year. I'm eating better, sleeping more, training harder... so why the hell do I keep catching every cold that goes around?

In the absence of training results and programming commentary, I am resurrecting something fun and somewhat morally bankrupt. If not for this quiz, I bet you'd never TRULY know how many five year olds you could take in a fight.

This short survey will tell you approximately how many five year old children you could fight at once. Results are based on physical prowess, training, swarm-combatting experience, and the flexibility of your moral compass. Turns out I can only take 25. I think that's because (a) I've never been in an actual fight before, (b) I have little to no experience with swarms and (c) I'm not that big. My Cirque-du-Soleil-worthy moral compass, however, certainly helped me out.

Try it for yourself, and post results to comments. The man (or woman) with the highest score will earn my permanent allegiance. All those sticky-fingered, germy-mouthed little ankle biters in one place is the stuff of my nightmares, so I'm walking in with you. Behind you, actually.

25

Hit the siren, Santa

Scott and I spent Christmas Eve riding along with the Laconia Police Department, delivering donated gifts to underprivileged children. The LPD accepts donations all year long for their "Family Fund", and hosts many fundraisers to benefit the charity. This year, over 1,000 families applied for the program, mostly broken homes and single mothers, some with as many as four children to provide for.

We jumped in the back of a SWAT van with a few friends, a costumed Santa and box upon box of wrapped toys, clothes and other presents. Each family received a number of gifts for each child - it often took three or four of us to carry them all into the home. Santa went first, scaring babies, taking pictures with the neighborhood kids and accepting homemade cookies.

I can't decide if the overall experience was more depressing or uplifting. Many of the houses were clearly unsuitable for children - filthy, smoke-filled (and not just cigarrette smoke), cold. And a good number seemed to be lacking in gifts, clothes or food for the kids - but they sure weren't lacking cases of beer, cartons of cigarettes, KFC take-out or flat-screen TVs for the parents. (I found out that any home with a plasma on the wall is likely to be removed from next year's approved list.) I fully expected parents would be grateful for what their community had done for them. A few parents, however, acted as if our visit was an intrusion. One woman literally opened the door while still on the phone, made a gesture for us to drop the boxes inside and turned her back on us while she kept on talking. All while her kid looked on from the other room, unsure whether she could come in and say hello to Santa. I mean, are you kidding me?

Many of these families are no strangers to the police - our escort told us stories of the calls he'd taken, and some of the things he's witnessed. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see the way many of these kids were living. And it was very difficult not to take the sins of the parents out on the children. I wanted to get in that rude mother's face and tell her we were taking all the damn gifts back, since she clearly could give a shit. But that's punishing the child, and that poor kid has it tough enough as it is. So we smile and hug and Santa does his schtick, and you hope that the next day, that kid has a happy morning opening presents that perfect strangers were generous enough to pick out for her.

They weren't all like that, though. There were homes where kids and parents alike were so excited, so happy to see us. One in particular will stay with me - one in particular made the entire long, cold evening worthwhile. The door flew open before we even made it up the stairs, the kids were going crazy screaming for Santa. While they attacked the presents, the Dad shook all our hands, and with tears in his eyes, told us about the tough time his family was going through. It was clearly difficult for him to accept this kind of a "handout", and yet he did, with quiet dignity, because he knew his children would have a better Christmas for it. He was so geniunely moved by the generosity, and so thankful that his kids had something to look forward to Christmas morning. These were good people working hard to provide for their children, and they were just in a really rough spot this year. And it felt so, so good to be able to help them out.

Part of me, selfishly, did this for the good karma. But the other part of me was ashamed of myself for thinking I should do something to give back, and then letting another year go by without getting off my ass and actually doing something. Scott and I are fortunate this year, perhaps more fortunate than most. And it shouldn't take a charity present run to remind me to be so profoundly grateful for all that we have.

Merry Christmas, to you and your families.

PS I totally got to work the lights in the SWAT van. I threw on the 360s, the red strobe AND the the right and left alley lights all at once. It was MAGICAL.

Level I Certification

I just signed up for my Level I certification! I had a heads-up from Gregg Arsenuk that a Level I was coming back to Guerrilla Fitness (CrossFit Montclair, in NJ). It was posted on the Main Site today, and I registered right away. February 7th - 8th, which gives me just about 6 weeks to get my shit together.

Danny Vee recommended that I go someplace new for my Level I - visit an affiliate I've never been to before. But the Guerrilla box is so cool, and I'm already really comfortable there, and I loved hanging out with Gregg, Rhabdo and the rest of their trainers, so I think it's the perfect spot. Plus it gives me a chance to spend some more time after the cert in NYC with my sister, Keith at Virtuosity and Thor, Jack Bauer and Moon (my Brooklyn boys).

This was a great Christmas present from CrossFit, by the way... a free Level I in exchange for doing nothing more than driving around with a CrossFit license plate. Big thank you to Lisa Lugo for helping me with the technicalities. And if anyone else ends up registering for this one, send me an email! I can give you ideas for hotels and other info about the area and their box.

CrossFit, NH style

Einstein Von Smartypants

This post came to life after I read an email from my homeboy Jason Struck. He sent me a solid, detailed critique of my squat and DL videos from the weekend, which I found very helpful. It was less what he said and more how he SAID IT, though, that stuck with me. Jason wrote, in part, “I hate seeing excess (squat) hip flexion, because nine times out of ten it's just a matter of time before you get taco'd”.

YES. I can see how too much hip flexion would potentially lead to a taco-ing. And I understand that becoming a human barbell taco is not desirable. That concept will stay with me the next time I squat, and I guarantee my lift will be better for it. See, aside from the fact that Jason is a good coach, I send him all my videos because I really like the way he SAYS things.

I do a lot of reading and research on subjects of interest - diet, programming, exercises, anatomy. I talk to many different people, too, on all kinds of fitness related subjects. But I tend to keep coming back to advice, feedback and recommendations from the same two or three people. And that has less to do with how well spoken they are, or how smart, or how much coaching experience they have... it comes down to how they TALK to me. Let me give you an example.

When I first started to intermittent fast (IF), I did a lot of reading on the subject. Two web sites in particular offered very good introductions to the concept of IF. The first was from Scott Kustes of the Modern Forager, who offered a series of posts on the basics of Intermittent Fasting. The second was from Mike O’Donnell of The IF Life, who ran a post called “Intermittent Fasting 101”.

I read both Scott and Mike’s posts in full*.

*PANTS ON FIRE. I read about six sentences of the Modern Forager post before something shiny stole my attention. I think, specifically, it was this sentence that did me in: “Due to the lack of the glucose-6-phosphatase enzyme, muscle glycogen is only available to the muscle in which it is stored… but liver glycogen is readily available to any body cells.” Now, I started out as a biology major in college. I had three years of endocrinology, physiology and other various –ologies before I switched over to business. It’s not that I don’t understand the science behind a post like this.

I just get bored. I don’t care about the science behind it, and I don’t care about why it works - I just want to know how to MAKE IT WORK (and then Black Box it for myself). When I headed over to The IF Life… bingo. Nothing technical, nothing in-your-face smartypants, just stuff like this: “Intermittent fasting is just taking times of fast (no food) and working them into your lifestyle. Benefits include improving insulin resistance … and giving the body a chance to do some internal cleaning (or housework), which can lead to improved immune function and overall health.” And then Mike gave me a link to scientific studies, in case I wanted to read more. Which I did not.

Now, Scott Kustes is one of the smartest and most respected health and fitness bloggers on the web. I’ve read plenty of his posts. But I tend to read the simple ones, not the science-y ones. That’s just how I operate. And not just with research – I respond the same way to lots of things, like training feedback. Which brings me back to why I gravitate towards certain people when seeking training help.

As another example, I’ve read lots of "how to squat" articles. LOTS. And I've received tons of feedback about how to improve my squat. One such tip focused on the knees: “The knees buckle not because the abductors are weak and can’t pull the knees out to the side, but because the adductors are weak and can’t assist to lift the weight.So the knees narrow to compensate for these weak adductors by allowing the quads to do more work.” Excellent, on-point commentary… that made my eyes glaze over. I mean, I read it, and it made sense, but the statement is just too damn intellectual for its own good. I completely forgot the entire substance (and the point) four seconds later, and it certainly didn’t stay with me during my next squat workout.

As compared to direction that DID stick with me, from Jon Gilson: “Push your fucking knees out.”

Now THAT, I get. He didn’t get into the anatomy and physiology the squat, but I also didn’t ask him about that, because I really didn't care. I just want to know what it is, and how to apply it. And Jon told me what it is (knees out) and how to apply it (push). That advice has stuck with me for months now, and I think about it every time I get under the bar.

Now there is a common thread here – I must have read enough or researched enough ahead of time to know that there is at least SOME evidential scientific support for the things I’m doing. I’m not just trying IF on a whim, I’d read enough to know there were potential benefits. And I’m not just going to do whatever a trainer tells me – I knew from reading SS that “knees out” was a valid squat cue. My point is that AFTER the fact, give it to me straight and simple, and don’t start mucking it up by throwing in big words or mathematical equations.

I envy people that can get into the more scientific, technical aspects of exercise theory. In fact, I NEED to pay more attention to that aspect of my training, if for no other reason than some of my clients are going to demand this level and quality of information from me. There is no question that if I had asked Jon, “Why?” he would have been able to explain, in detail, why he was giving me that cue. I need to be able to do that too – I can’t just say, “Because that’s what Jon told ME to do”.

So to that end, I am going back and re-reading some of the studies I’ve passed over, and paying more attention to those people who offer me technical feedback and advice. It’s not that Fun for me, but I’m treating it like school – like studying. This is just another way I can turn myself into a better coach. So please, continue to wax all scientific-y about whatever subjects you wish. Send me links, give me details, expound on theories. But don’t be offended if I’ve tuned you out by the time you can say, “glycogen replenishment”. It’s still a work in progress.

Buy-in

• Jump rope, 1:37
• Cough, 0:58 straight (PR)
• KTEs x 10

I decided to take an easy day, as I'm still not feeling 100%. This gave me the opportunity to try something I've been meaning to try for weeks now - the high-bar back squat. Per my trainer's instructions, sets of 5, take video, and don't go above 100#. SWEET.

High-Bar BS 5x5

• Warm-up 10@45#, 5@65#

• 5@75@
• 5@85#
• 5@95#
• 5@95#
• 5@100#

This. Felt. Awesome. There is NO doubt about my depth here, video showed every rep was way below parallel. Chest was up, far less hip flexion, it was easier to P.M.F.K.O. (thanks, Jon) and I was able to drive with my heels very effectively. I might be in love.

And by the way - I'm not looking for a single piece of advice on this topic - high bar vs. low bar. I've read, I've researched, and what it comes down to is this - whatever feels better is what I'll end up doing. I am a 34 year old woman training for NOTHING, so as long as I'm squatting in some fashion, I am 100% satisfied.

Bench Press, 3x5

• Warm-up 10@45#, 5@55#

• 5@70#
• 5@75#
• 5@75#

I've never done a bench press 1RM. Maybe I should.

Cash out:

• Pistols (unweighted), 5L/5R (trailing foot never hits the ground)
• Sots pistols (15# DB), 3L/3R
• 1,000 shrugs (not really, but if I keep high-bar squatting, I'm gonna need some more meat up there)
  

The program

As promised, here's my new program for the next 12 weeks (or longer, until I stop making serious progress). Of course, this was supposed to kick off today, but I'm stuck at home sick (sniff) and debating whether the gym is a good idea. I suspect it is not.

Sun: Rest

Mon: 3x5 Essential, 3x5 Supplemental

Tue: Met-con

Wed: 3x5 Essential, 3x5 Supplemental

Thu: Rest

Fri: 3x5 Essential, 3x5 Supplemental

Sat: Met-con

Sets across will be worked in a variety of patterns, including 3x5, 5x5, 5x3 and 3x7

• Warm up with the empty bar for one or two sets, then progressively warm up for 2-4 sets.
• Perform X sets of X reps per exercise, done as “sets across” (at the same weight)
• Start at 80% of your one-rep max in each exercise in week one
• Add weight each week, either 2, 5 or 10 lbs as long as you can
• If you fail to complete the sets as Rx’d, you will repeat the next week at the same weight
• Repeat this protocol as long as it yields results

Essential Exercises: Choose one for each day of the 3x5

• Deadlift
• Back Squat
• Front Squat
• Press
• Power Clean
  

Supplemental Exercises: Choose one for each day of the 3x5

• Bench Press/Dips
• Pull-Ups
• Overhead squat
• Push-Press
• Push-Jerk
  

Olympic Exercises: These can be substituted for the "Essential Exercises". Mix and match.

• Squat Clean & Jerk
• Squat Clean
• Power Snatch
• Squat Snatch
  

Met-Cons: Heavier, shorter met-cons are appropriate. Longer, high repetition, light-weight chippers (Filthy Fifty) and straight “cardio” (row 5K) will be included once every two weeks.

Perfect Practice: The last week of every month is devoted to “perfect practice”. Lighter weight, slower reps, no time component.

New 1RM Testing: At the five week mark, or anytime thereafter.

As of 12/15/08, 1RM are the following:

• Deadlift: 205#
• BS: 140#
• FS: 130#
• OHS: 65#
• Thruster: 75#
• Bench press: 85#
• Weighted pull-ups: 15#
• Max rep pull-ups (DH): 6
• Max rep pull-ups (kipping): 12
• Dips: ?
  
• Power clean: 105#
• Press: 65#
• PP/PJ: 85#

As of 12/20/08, CrossFit Total score = 400

• BS: 140#
• Press: 65#
• DL: 195#

_____

Finally, a reminder... this new program started with Max Lewin of CrossFit East Bay. You can see his original design here. Mine is tweaked (per my trainer's instructions) to accommodate my personal goals and Goats, but if you want to come up with your own 5x5, start by reading Max's post.

The train wreck that is my CrossFit Total

Apologies up front, but there is a lot of swearing in this post.

A few days ago, my trainer and I finalized my new strength program (which I promise I will post tomorrow). Just before we got off the phone, he said to me, "Oh, and you need to do a CrossFit Total before you start".

Ah, crap.

Max recommended the same thing a few weeks ago, but I completely ignored him. My trainer, however, is not so easy to ignore.

Trainer: You need to do a CFT before you start.
Me: Oh, yeah. I was actually just planning on adding up all my 1RMs and using that.
Trainer: (silence)
Me: Um, because it's kind of the same thing, so... that's what I was going to...
Trainer: (crickets)
Me: Sigh. FINE.

I was not psyched about this, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I ADORE 1RM pulls. The CFT is THREE 1RM pulls. All in the SAME DAY. I should be peeing my pants with excitement over the idea. But I wasn't. I think I was just nervous. That's a lot of pressure. What if my squat tired me out so much I blew it on the press and DL? What if I choked and pulled way less than a previous 1RM? What if I was just having a bad day? I allowed myself seven seconds of this nonsense, after which I manned up, pulled out my copy of Starting Strength and started cramming.

I was supposed to head down to North Shore CrossFit this morning to do a Total with Danny Vee and the Beverly crew, but I was all set with a three hour drive through the snow. I decided to head over to my local gym (Lakes Region Fitness) yesterday afternoon.

Results (at a bodyweight of 130#):

• BS: 140#
• Press: 65#
• DL: 195#
  

CFT: 400#

This was a relative disaster. First, I decided to video some attempts to send to My People for review. Good thing I did, because the 150# BS I did in the third attempt was judged an Epic Fail. Didn't go get even close to parallel, never mind below. Fuck. Gant said, "You didn't get your knees out, so you weren't able to drop into the hole and get the rebound effect to get out. You just muscled the whole thing. When you do that, it's very difficult to gauge depth as the glutes are under constant tension."

In summary, I'm plenty strong enough to hit this number. But the back squat is still SO new, and I haven't figured out where my bottom point should be. I THINK I'm below parallel, but I end up stopping short, which negates the PR. I did a rep prior to that at 145#, but since I didn't video it, I'm not going to speculate as to its validity. Instead, I'll take the hit and use my previous 1RM (which I've pulled several times, and has been judged in person as good) of 140#.

I may have to say fuck you to the Ball Nazis and start using something to help me gauge my depth for the next few weeks, until I can learn to figure it out for myself.

I've been stuck at a 65# press FOREVER. That weight goes up pretty easy, but 70# gets stuck in the middle every time. I think if I can make a little tweak to my form, it'll go. I tried twice yesterday and swore out loud both times.

My DL pull was 10# less than my 1RM, and more importantly less than I COULD HAVE pulled. I gamed this one all wrong, creeped in my warm-up, started my first pull way too light and didn't get aggressive enough with subsequent pulls. Dammit. I definitely had more in me.

So there we have it - a solid 400. My goal for the end of this 12 week program - a 450 CFT. Challenging, but do-able. Doing a CFT is kind of like learning a new lift for the first time. I've got some serious points to gain simply by doing this again. I'll know how to work the warm-up better, and where to start with my attempts. That's gotta be good for 20 points right there.

Back squat: epic Fail

Bears wearing eyeglasses (and other acts of natural terrorism)

Over the course of the last two weeks, I've been doing some serious thinking (and posting) about my overall fitness, training and personal goals. We've had long discussions about strength, performance, personal accountability and measuring success - all contributors to "getting diesel".

But not today, kids. Today, I change the subject and direct your attention to a work of pure genius, full of haunting images and scathing commentary, addressing subject matter of global importance - subject matter that conventional major media outlets are too afraid to criticize. Today, I bring you Fuck You, Penguin (a blog that tells animals what's what).

Fuck you, Pengiun is the Discovery channel equivalent of Joan Rivers working a pre-awards show red carpet. It attacks the soft underbelly of the cute, the clever and the furry, getting its hands (and very soul) dirty in an effort to expose these animals' true evil intentions. No creature is safe - the elephant, the beaver, the kangaroo, even the King of the Jungle himself - all are brought to their knees (do beavers have knees?) by the mighty pen of Fuck You, Penguin.

Want a preview of what the next bananas-hilarious half-hour of your life is going to look like?

_________

Sunday December 7, 2008
This bear is essentially raping my soul

So basically this totally thoughtless motherfucker decided regular bears
weren't cute enough. His solution? GIVE HIMSELF NATURAL FUCKING
EYEGLASSES. Then, becoming the single cutest animal on the face of the
earth, he laid on his fucking back so we could all see his goddamn belly, and
then furtively glanced in our direction, thereby rendering any potential
defense against his advances totally useless. Well played, Bear. I'm going
to go take a shower now.

__________

Consider this my Christmas present to you. (And if you're a Jehovah's Witness, consider it just another link.) Enjoy.

Yes, I will coach your pants

As I am constantly working to improve my kettlebell coaching, I have recently come to the conclusion that I will coach anything. Anything. Need help with a certification in NJ? I’ll coach that. See a drunk friend at a party poorly mimicking the kettlebell swing? I’ll coach that. Bear witness to a tragic kettlebell training video on YouTube? I’ll coach that right through the monitor. If you told me you had a pair of rust colored corduroys that really wanted to learn kettlebells, I'd coach them too. Those pants will be doing windmills in no time.

So when my friend and North Shore CrossFit manager Danny Vadala invited me down to Beverly to guest-coach a kettlebell class, guess what I said?

I drove down last night for their 6 PM session. It was a small group, which was perfect for the skill work I wanted to go over. After a great warm-up (lots of up-and-back drills, like lunges, bear crawls and Rockette-style kicks), we got down to business. I went through the windmill and all the variations, and then showed them how they can work the windmill in with a TGU to make a damn effective warm-up drill. I also showed them the get-up sit-up… deceptively simple but killer on the core.

Finally, the class went through a quick workout (KB front squats, renegade rows, plank hold and push jerks) while I helped Danny check form and offer feedback. (Danny and I did jump in on the plank holds, though. Couldn’t resist. Two whole minutes –suck it, plank.)

The students picked up all the moves really quickly, and seemed to like the variations. Danny really let me run the show with respect to the skill drills, but he jumped in with some prompts for things I forgot to mention (like proper breathing) and gave me a few encouraging nods when I touched on solid points. He also practiced the skills right there with his students, which was a nice touch.

He runs a great program down there. The two North Shore affiliates do all their own programming, and from what I’ve seen, it’s both innovative and challenging. Plus Danny just came back from his Level II certification, and told me he is now even more dedicated to using a variety of coaching and workout styles in his classes. As a result, his students get a broad and balanced mix of strength training, met-con, technique practice, skill work, joint mobility and stretching. As an added bonus, Danny runs a really relaxed class, in terms of PC-ness. I’m not gonna lie, it felt good to be able to relax my vocabulary a bit. Because upon hearing you still have 30 long seconds to go in a plank hold, there is truly nothing else to say but, “Fuck me”.

Big thanks to Danny Vee for letting me come down and play. And for those of you interested in the TGU/windmill warm-up drill, I took some video last week, this should help you put it together. I promise you, it will test how well you know the TGU, since you come up on one side and down on the other. It’s like a flowing series of yoga postures, but with kettlebells. Which is a cool concept, now that I think about it. But I promise I am NOT going to give is some retarded name like Kettle-Om and then market it with a purple energy-cleansing 4# kettlebell in recyclable cardboard packaging.

P.S. Yesterday was the biggest reader day ever, with over 1,000 visitors. Thanks to CF NYC for the links - I'm honored to be included. And for the CF Ireland boys and girls - stop by anytime (and thanks for the link, Will).

Take the red pill

We all have off days, slow days, even bad days. But I rarely have a Bad Day of Epic Proportion. The BDoEP feels far, far different than just a plain old bad day. It feels like I have one of the Jolie-Pitt kids clinging to a leg (probably Maddox), Andrei Arlovsky trying to pin me in a cross slide and my Dad standing next to me huffing Pall Mall non-filters. All while I'm trying to do thrusters.

Yesterday was one of those Days.

The last time this happened, I wrote it off to a lack of recent structured training. But I can't blame that for yesterday, as my training has been solid as of late. So what's the common factor here? After going back through my notes, it finally came to me - the common factor in both instances. Carbs. An overindulgence of sugary, grain-y, flour-y, processed carbs.

We had no power for almost two days this weekend, and therefore no easy way to prepare healthy, Paleo food at home. Which I took as a license to eat as if I were a character in The Road, on the run and scrounging for whatever energy rations I could find in a desperate attempt to literally save my own life. This weekend, those rations included espresso martinis, lobster mac and cheese, numerous delicious deli sandwiches, peanut M&Ms and an assortment of bread-related products.

It feels good while you're eating them. Since I kept hoovering processed carbs and sugars, I never really crashed... or maybe I did, which accounts for the several happy naps I took over the weekend. Regardless, come Monday morning, I was back to my Paleo no sugar/no grain/no dairy/no processed food normal diet. And I did fine on Monday - I didn't miss the carbs at all, wasn't having any cravings. But come Tuesday morning, it all caught up with me.

This episode finally allowed me to determine a PATTERN... eat tons of crap for more than one day in a row, feel like even worse crap for even longer. The BDoEP is the result of me literally detoxing from sugars, grains and processed junk. You think I'm exaggerating? I mean, it's just BREAD, it's not heroin, right? I promise you, I am not. It's like a smoker who doesn't realize how terrible he feels until he STOPS smoking. I've been eating a pretty strict, clean diet for such a long time that when I do go on these multi-day binges, it literally kicks my ass. There is something to be said for comparing sugars, processed foods, etc. to hard drug, a la Nicole Carroll's "Getting Off the Crack" CFJ article.

Still not convinced? Try it. Take two weeks and go sugar free, grain free, processed food free. Eat tons of vegetables, don't go crazy with the fruit, eat lots of good fat. At the end of two weeks, take a day and eat whatever you want - cake, bagels, pasta, lobster mac and cheese. Then send me an email and tell me how you feel on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. I'm guessing your note will include words like "nauseous", "exhausted", "weak" and "headache-y". In fact, I can almost guarantee it. So try it for yourself. You'll thank me for it. Or curse me for it. Either way, I'm on a mission to push the red pill.



Buy-in

• TGU/windmill warm-up drill, 3L/3R (12K)

DL, 3x3 + Pull-ups, 3x5

• DL warm-up at 95#, 135#, 155#
• DL x 3 @ 165#
• PU x 5
  
• DL x 3 @ 165#
• PU x 5
  
• DL x 3 @ 165#
• PU x 5
  

Meh. Not Bad, but still feeling pretty "off".

Cash out

• Get-up sit-ups, 10L/10R (12K)

P.S. My "strength" posts are featured on CrossFit NYC today. That's totally awesome.

In one deltoid and out the other

I want to talk a little more about yesterday’s post, and my renewed commitment to working a strength-based program.

Max Lewin did not give me brand new information. It was great information, presented in a very organized and thought-provoking fashion… but it’s not brand new information. I’ve known for a long time that my CrossFit limiting factor is strength. That’s been personally confirmed and reconfirmed and beaten into my head by plenty of folks. But I have selective memory, and at times, choose to ignore logic and reason and Things I Know To Be True in favor of (a) what’s easy, (b) what’s fun or (c) something else that for no apparent reason I decide to pursue.

When I first started CrossFit, by my definition, it was a met-con biased program. (My definition: “For Time” = Met-Con.) I didn’t hear CrossFitters crow about their back squat or deadlift nearly as much as their Fran time or Fight Gone Bad score. So I figured to be better at CrossFit, I needed to met-con my ass off. Which I did. And when I didn’t get THAT much better, I figured I should met-con more. So I did. Light weight 45 minute met-cons were my specialty. I did ‘em almost every day. But when I’d try to do (heavily scaled) Fran, or Grace, or Fight Gone Bad, I’d fail miserably. And I couldn’t figure out why, since I’d been doing SO MANY MET-CONS.

In May, I had an all-day certification style seminar (dubbed “AssFit”) with my trainer. And there, for the first time, he made the light bulb click. My straight-up cardio capacity was fantastic. But if I can’t lift a 65# barbell, how the hell was I ever going to be able to complete Fran? I realized he was right –I needed to get STRONGER, not met-con-ier. So I embarked on a strength based program.

Except that strength gains don’t come easily for me. I’m scrawny by nature. I have to work really hard to put on weight, both on my frame and the bar. So this building strength stuff was slow going. My heavy lifting days were discouraging… but I was still rocking my dedicated met-con days. And that felt good. So I would slowly lighten up my “heavy lifting” days and extend my met-con days and pretty soon, I’m back to the same old 45 minutes using insignificant weight. (Confession - I once secretly did seven straight days of chippers, 50 reps per exercise.) It was fun, and it was certainly “easier”, but I still wasn’t getting any BETTER. So I’d come to my senses after a week or two, and return to my 3x5s and shorter, heavier met-cons. And the cycle continued.

I’ve said this before – sometimes, I feel like I’m getting a very specific message at exactly the right time. When Max busted out his awesome strength versus cardio analysis, I realized it was exactly what I needed to hear. (I heard a lot more of it yesterday, too, after my post… lots of people out there were doing the Damn, Byers, I Told You So dance.) CrossFit Full Circle's Jason M. Struck also sent me a note on the subject. He agrees with Max, saying, “Transfer from exercise is limited by specificity. Strength is specific to almost everything. It's possible to argue that all other bio-motor abilities, if not completely reliant on strength, are at least probably most significantly affected by strength. Sure, there are other factors, but when talking bang for the buck, broadly transferable strength exercises are the way to go.” And finally, he uttered the phrase that gave me yet another LBM (light bulb moment)… “That's why smart folks don't do cardio. Cost versus benefit sucks.”

Brilliant. So again, if I KNOW this to be true, why can’t I stick to a strength-based program? Maybe I’m too driven by instant gratification. Cardio capacity improves quickly. Strength does not. So I’m going for the cheap and dirty satisfaction, instead of toughing it out in pursuit of greater rewards. Or maybe my “build your own sundae” approach to programming is not as objective as I’d like to think. I get to make up my own workouts every day, which means I subconsciously perhaps don’t do the things I don’t want to do. And often, “don’t want to” includes a 5x5 deadlift day, or 3x5 sets across of heavy back squats. (I’d much rather pull for a new 1RM, but we’ve already covered that one.)

Knowing is half the battle. First, I've got a new, structured program. And second, rediscovering all the reasons why I really DO need to get stronger will help me move past all my old tricks. And it only took 8 months, 72 different people and 244 utterances of the “stronger is better” mantra for me to finally pay attention. My husband would say that’s actually not bad.

Buy-in

• 50 DUs
• TGU, 3L/3R (16K)
• Perfect practice - thrusters (45#) and push-ups, 10/7/4/2

Melissa's Awful Day at the Gym

"Fat Burpee Jackie"

• 3 rounds of
• Row 500m
• 10 thrusters @65#
• 10 burpee-pull-ups

3 hours, 27 minutes, 52 seconds (is what it felt like)

Cash out:

• Not much. (Armbar stretch, 12K, 1:00L/1:00R)

To say today did not go well is an understatement. Had Richard Simmons himself been clapping and cheering and kicking his little short-shorts next to the squat rack, I still could not have gone any faster. I know exactly why I tanked, too. Dammit. I'll discuss in tomorrow's post.

Strong \ˈstrȯŋ\ (adjective) : Having or marked by great physical power

Today I'll finish writing about my interview with Max Lewin of CrossFit East Bay. Below is an extension of the “Confessions of a CrossFit Hussy” posting from last week - additional thoughts from Max that developed into my new program. Some background, first... for the last six months, I’ve had a hard time balancing a strength focus with cardiovascular (met-con) performance. I’d go weeks where I would add weight to the bar on a regular basis, but quickly lose what felt like ALL my cardio capacity. So I'd back off the heavy, structured lifting and ramp up the met-con, settling for only minor strength improvements while getting my lungs and endurance back in shape. Unfortunately, that track didn't seem to do much for my overall workout results, so I'd then see-saw back to my shorter met-cons and weight sets of 1, 3 or 5. I've been flipping back and forth for a few months now, which I suspect is another contributor to my lack of recent performance gains. I asked Max for his thoughts on balancing a program.

_____

Byers: Here’s another one - I’d like to improve strength, but I don’t want to lose too much of my met-con capacity. I’ve been programming based on Gant’s Hybrid theories, but I’ve stalled. Now, I’m seeing only tiny strength gains, AND my met-con capacity seems to be no better than it was six months ago. Clearly, I need a change, but I’m not sure what to focus on.

Lewin: The limiting factor for many people in doing workouts as Rx’d is a lack of ability to move the heavier weights...

Byers: Absolutely. I can rock a body weight or low weight workout, but throw 75# on the bar and I fall apart. I’ve been working a strength program to try to combat that… but I’m not positive that’s going to give me the most bang for the buck. What good is getting a whole lot stronger if by the time you get there, your lungs are totally deconditioned?

Lewin: The ten physical skills of CrossFit fall along a continuum of persistence versus ease of development. Cardiovascular endurance is, by far, the easiest thing to develop, but the least persistent. You can improve endurance daily, but cessation of "cardio" will result in an almost immediate decrease in capacity. The de-training effect is most dramatic in beginners, who will lose ALL of their gains in about two months, while highly fit athletes will lose about half of their capacity within three months. Having had a high cardio capacity in the past will not be very helpful in regaining such capacity after a layoff. (Agility is also subject to this effect.)

At the other end of the continuum is strength, specifically limit strength - the amount of musculoskeletal force you can generate for one all-out effort. This takes many, many years to develop. Once developed, however, such strength is very persistent, and even if lost comes back very quickly when training is recommenced. (Balance is also subject to this effect - riding a bike for instance.)

I believe that because of the above effects, for many athletes a Rippetoe-style weight training in place of (or in addition to) CrossFit will lead to faster gains in the long-term.

_____

In summary:

• Cardio = Easy come, easy go… and easy come on back
• Strength = Harder to build, slower gains, but sticks around in a persistent fashion
• Add a strength focus to your CF workouts for faster (and more permanent) overall gains

Note: I have, of course, known this all along. This is not brand new information. I've been told by countless Smart people (my trainer, Gant, Struck, the CF Brooklyn boys) to screw the 45 minute chippers and just get STRONGER. I've even sporadically listened to that advice, from time to time, which is how I got started on Gant's Hybrid program in the first place. But for reasons I'll go into more tomorrow, I always end up slowly veering from my strength path back to my 45 minute chippers. So hearing this from Max, yet again, right now, for the 424th time, was what I needed to kick-start this new program.

I'll post my actual program tomorrow, along with some starting stats so I can compare now vs. eight weeks from now. I'm excited to have a little more structure to my workouts, and I do plan on hitting more of the "Main Site" WODs for my met-con days. As much as I've been violently opposed to the idea of doing Fran (asking me, "What's your Fran time?" will always provoke a response of, "Who gives a shit? Ask me how much I deadlift."), I should probably do the stupid thing at least once.

Buy-in

• Jump rope, 5:00 + 50 DUs

Back squat, 3x5 at 80% 1RM

• Warm-up 5@45#, 3@75#, 3@95#, 1@105#

• 5@115#
• 5@115#
• 5@115#

Back squat, 3x5 at 82% 1RM

• Warm-up 5@45#, 3@75#, 3@95#, 1@105#

• 5@115#
• 5@115#
• 5@115#

Press, 3x5 at 85% 1RM

• Warm-up 5@25#, 3@45#
  

• 5@55#
• 5@55#
• 5@55#

Squats felt easier than they have in a long time. I think my form is pretty much dialed in. The presses, though, felt E.A.S.Y. Like, I could have put up another two reps in each set easy. Big improvement from the last time I did this exact rep scheme, when I failed on one or two of the reps.

Cash out:

• 25 KTEs

We've got juice

Almost two full days without heat, water, power or (clearly) internet. Having no power is SO annoying. I found myself entering rooms and automatically flicking light switches. Had you been following me around the house for the last two days, this is what you would have heard: Step. Click. "DAMMIT."

Having no power is also boring. Activity choices included reading, stretching and cleaning. And I hate two of those things. I read four books, took two naps and spent an hour virtual shoveling, only without the "virtual" part. Thank god the gym was open, at least I got to hang out someplace warm for a few hours. I practiced my KB juggling, which (when you're me) isn't as impressive as it sounds. It mostly involves flipping the kettlebell in a very basic pattern until it crashes to the ground. I averaged about 12 flips to every thud.

Buy-in

• 50 DUs
• 10 pull-ups (dead hang)

KB skill work (all w/ 12K)

• TGU/windmill warm-up drill
• Swing release
• Swing release w/ flip (1H/2H)
• Bottoms-up clean
• Figure 8 to hold
• Double KB clean and press

Cash out

• Pistol Sots press w/ 15# DB (3L/3R)
  

Here's a set of swing release flips. I'm not a very good videographer, because the kettlebell is cut off at the top of the frame. You can see it flipping in the mirror behind me, though. (No tricks, promise.) Not exactly Martone material, since this is about as boring as watching paint dry... but give me six months and I'll be juggling two 'bells and a chihuahua while eating a Lara bar.

Confessions of a CrossFit hussy

First, let me just say that after killing myself in yesterday's WOD... things just HURT. It started to hit me last night, which did not bode well for today. Thank Oprah it's a rest day, because I'm pretty sure I'm not good for anything else right now.

Continuing from Tuesday’s post, where I discussed leaving “Noviceland” and all those regularly scheduled PRs behind…

Confession: In the past, I’ve been a bit of a PR slut. I would do anything to be able to tack those two letters on to the end of something. So at the end of my workout, despite being mentally and physically spent, I’d invariably load up the bar with a few extra pounds and try to pull one more rep, just to say I did. Even on days where I was supposed to be working straight sets across, I’d almost always finish off with a new 1RM attempt. It just felt GOOD to be able to say that I pulled a new PR. And it’s oh-so-tempting to toss just one more plate on the bar and give it a go.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, because I see other people stretching to put those letters on lots of different things. We’ve claimed “PR for reps” or “PR for sets”, for example. But where does it end? Is there a “PR for rest” – I moved the same weight, but I rested less between each set? Can I claim a PR for a brand new workout – I’ve never done it before, so it’s a “PR by default”? I recognized that my PR motivations were starting to get out of hand. And it wasn’t long before these cheap and dirty workout one-night-stands were actually weakening my form, jacking up my programming and steadily pushing me down the path to injury.

I realized that I’m not doing myself any favors by whoring myself out to these two little letters. For one, if I’m supposed to work a 5x5 and instead work a 4x5 and a single, I’m shorting myself four whole reps and a whole lot of weight. Two, I’m also not getting better at these exercises by sacrificing practice with good form in favor of hitting a sloppy 1RM attempt. And three, throwing in these haphazard PR attempts often resulted in failure, which only made me MORE determined when it came time for the next day’s (unscheduled and ill-advised) attempt. Can you say “overtraining” and “injury”?

And yet CrossFit expects – no, demands – 100% effort and intensity… which should translate to frequent PR attempts, right? I mean, “100%” IS “max effort”, which means in my overachieving, perfectionist little brain, CrossFit WANTS me to shoot for a PR every day. But that just sounds unrealistic, doesn’t it? Not to mention that pulling single reps day in and day out isn’t the most effective path to strength, skill, and balanced fitness. So given what I believe is a CrossFit paradox, how am I supposed to reconcile the “intensity” that is demanded of us (and is synonymous with setting PRs) with the “perfect practice” required to build strength, improve form and increase skill? I decided to ask Max Lewin of CrossFit East Bay for some advice. Here is an excerpt from our discussion.

_____

BYERS: Okay, so am I really supposed to shoot for a PR EVERY time I hit a workout?

LEWIN: This is not really possible, or many of us would be superhuman by now. How often you can hit PRs depends on where you fall on the continuum of genetic potential versus genetic actualization. If you are a beginner, far, far away from your genetic potential, gains come easy and hitting PRs every time is not out of the question. The closer you get to your genetic potential, the harder it is to hit PRs. As solid intermediates, we should be trying to hit some PRs, perhaps one every few weeks, depending on how long we have been doing it. Of course one good way to hit new PRs is to try something new, and be back at the bottom of the food chain.

BYERS: Okay, so maybe I can’t hit a PR every day, but CrossFit says I’m supposed to go after every workout at 100%. If I’m going for high intensity in every workout, when do I get the chance to just PRACTICE these movements?

LEWIN: First, it is impossible to give 100% effort to every single workout. Second, one excellent scheme that allows practice in the context of CF is two or three weeks at full intensity and the third and/or fourth week at 1/2 volume. Using light weights, reduced volume, intentional reduced speed or all three allows for practice. Also, if you are not practicing the movements with light weight/speed/intensity before the workouts, you ought to be. Pretty much every time.

We should all keep in mind that it is no virtue to pound through a workout as fast as possible at any cost. That way lies injury, a lack of coordinational improvement, poor form, decreased efficiency, and, generally, less than full range of motion. This last point is important. A lack of full ROM automatically equals less work volume and makes no sense, if full ROM is possible. This is so often simply ego, or a desire to move as quickly as possible. If you deadlift 300# but can only stand up to 90% of full extension, you might as well have lifted 270# with perfect form and full extension. The amount of work is exactly the same, it is safer and those who understand will be much more impressed with a beautiful maximal lift than a heavy ugly one. My favorite quote of all time from Coach Glassman on full ROM: "I ran a three-minute mile, but it was only half a mile".

_____

In summary:

• Perfect practice can live in harmony with high intensity
• Max efforts should be included, but in a structured fashion
• Check your ego at the door
• Follow the path of virtuosity

More on my conversation with Max later this week, as he had some more great advice about setting goals and structuring a strength-based program. And you can read his “virtuosity” post in its entirety here. It's worth clicking through.

So as of today, call me a good girl, because my PR promiscuity is a thing of the past. My new program will include a lot more 3x5 and 5x5 weight sessions, and far fewer 1RM attempts. In addition, I will incorporate “perfect practice” into my programming on a daily basis, in my work sets, as part of my warm-up AND in dedicated half or three-quarter intensity weeks without a time or weight component. And finally, my new rule is that a PR attempt is not allowed during perfect practice time. If I’m feeling strong, I’ll just do more reps, but I will not load the bar up past my previous 1RM.

A big thank you to Max for all of his help. Post thoughts to comments, and visit CrossFit East Bay for more great programming and WOD ideas.

Unworthy, the Sequel

I'm still working through all the Q&A with Max Lewin of CrossFit East Bay. I'll post the interview and my new programming tomorrow, I promise. Today, however, let's just talk about me.

This morning was a repeat of a Gym Jones-inspired workout called "Unworthy". I first did this in April 2008, with a 12K 'bell and a time of 28:00. It absolutely wrecked me. It's one of those that sounds easy, until you're in the middle of it. In fact, it was such a suck-fest that I shared the workout with the CrossFit community via the message boards. This is a note I received from Bobby Nauss of Jacksonville, FL.

"Dear Melissa,

I am writing this to let you know that the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office is considering bringing charges against you for Battery of a Law Enforcement Officer (3 counts). I was poking around another thread and saw a workout you posted and we decided to give it a shot.

You may have a great avatar, but you are an evil, evil individual. You came close to killing 3 SWAT guys. Great workout....if you tell me that it kicked your butt as well, I'll consider talking to the State Attorney and having the charges reduced to a petty misdemeanor."

So yeah, it's a tough one. I've been wanting to do it again for a while now, but Haskell told me not to give it another shot until I was pretty sure I could knock it out in under 20:00.

OKAY.


Buy-in

• 50 DUs
• TGUs, 16K, 3L/3R
• Windmills, 16K, 3L/3R

"Unworthy", done w/ 16K

• 80 squats - 40 KB swings - 20 push ups
• 40 squats - 20 KB swings - 10 push ups
• 20 squats - 10 KB swings - 5 push ups
• 40 squats - 20 KB swings - 10 push ups
• 80 squats - 40 KB swings - 20 push ups

14:15 (PR - using 4K more weight and less almost 14:00)

Cash out

• Armbar stretch, 16K, 3L/3R
• Windmills, 16K, 3L/3R

To say I feel good about today is an understatement. The last round was the worst - you're so close to being done, yet you have 80 squats, 40 swings and 20 push-ups still standing in your way. I broke many of the squat and push-ups sets, swings were all unbroken. (And Russian, of course.)

I bet the Big Boys could do this in closer to 10:00. I bet I could do this in closer to 10:00. I'll give it another shot... just not for another six months or so. Twice a year is enough for this one.

And finally, at the Globo today... I was in the middle of my last windmill (in the bottom position) when some guy started talking to me and gesturing. As if to get my attention. While I'm upside-down with a giant hunk of iron overhead. Are you f'ing kidding me? He continues to repeat his question as I slowly come up, rack the KB and put it down. I take off my headphones (YES, I am clearly also wearing headphones), scowl and just say, "DUDE." He's like, "Oh. Um, sorry. But are you using this bench?" Does it LOOK like I am USING. THAT. BENCH?!?

Yes, fellow gym-goer, NOW would be an AWESOME time to attempt to distract me from what I am doing.

Say goodbye to Noviceland

Used to be, I’d hit a PR on whatever workout I decided to do, just by showing up. I was putting 10# on my squat and deadlift, shaving minutes off my met-cons, doing more work in less time on a daily basis. Slowly, though, those days started getting further and further apart. I started seeing weeks between max weight increases, and hitting the same met-cons with barely an improvement in results. I became frustrated, and beat myself up trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Was I not eating enough? Resting enough? Working hard enough? Could I actually be getting weaker? Finally, the answer ran up, kicked me in the crotch and then danced around me like a chubby little sticky-fingered 6th grade bully. After almost a year of training CrossFit, I am no longer a beginner, and therefore no longer entitled to automatic daily gains. Say goodbye, kids, to Noviceland.

Coach Rip defines a novice trainee as "one who can get a PR with each successive workout with simple linear programming where weight is added each time". Well, I no longer hit a PR every session. I now have to work for every extra pound, every shaved minute. It’s no longer a matter of neuromuscular improvements translating to weight and speed gains. I can no longer improve my bench press by riding a bike or put 20# on my deadlift by adjusting my starting position by an inch. Now, it all comes down to strength. And that comes an awful lot slower than I could have imagined back in the good old days.

I’m somewhat relieved to have figured this out, because I was starting to get kind of down on myself. I like being able to say I hit a PR. I don’t like pulling a 200# deadlift one week, and then being stuck there for three more weeks. And I really don’t like going backwards in results – like that same 200# deadlift just not moving the following week. That totally pisses me off. Plus, I’ll admit… since I’ve got 500 people reading about what I do every day, the ego really doesn’t want to admit to a less than impressive effort. Truth be told, it makes me feel like crap to have to post zero improvements in weight or met-con times. And there have been more than a few of those days lately.

So after doing a good deal of private bitching, whining and complaining about my current situation, I have finally come to accept my Intermediate-ness. In fact, I am trying to see it for the progress that it really does represent. My standards are higher, my accomplishments are harder fought, my gains are smaller but far more meaningful. This new stage also means a change in programming, a revision of goals and most importantly, a mental adjustment to how I personally measure my success on a daily basis. And here is the conclusion I’ve come to:

Those two little letters – “PR” – will no longer be the Paris Hilton of my workout log (constantly featured, just hanging out and looking pretty but lacking any real substance). Instead, I’m going to work my program in such a way that “PR” will be invited as a special guest of honor, the Prince of this blog, making fewer pubic appearances, but representing far more talent and welcomed with much bigger fanfare.

Stay tuned for more on programming theory (and an interview with CrossFit East Bay head trainer Max Lewin) tomorrow.

Buy-in

• 50 double-unders
• 10 pull-ups
• 20 cleans 16K (10L/10R)
• 20 swing/cleans 16K (10L/10R)
• PP practice w/ 45#, 55#

Push press, Wittenstein-style

• 3@65#
• 3@70#
• 3@75#
• 3@80#
• 3@80#
• 3@80#

I feel good about these. No more jumping, no more coming forward, my dip is slow and controlled and my drive/press is far more explosive. My max overhead is 85#, but I'm going to keep working at 80# until they really start flying up. Goal is still 100# overhead.

Cash out:

• 20 cleans 16K (10L/10R)
• 20 snatches 16K (10L/10R)
• 20 clean/snatch 16K (10L/10R)

My new York 16K is sweeeeet. I just have to remember to take my KBs inside at night. I had to drive with it in the passenger seat this morning, seat warmer on high. Which was less than effective.